Germs
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics

Sometimes I really want to be alone
There are times where the singer desires to be by oneself

But that's one state I'm never in
However, the singer can never achieve complete aloneness

Because I know that I've got millions upon millions
This is due to the fact that the singer has countless

Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin
Microscopic, single-cell organisms residing on their skin

I rub and scrub until my flesh is raw and bleeding
Despite the attempts to clean it off, the germs refuse to be removed

But they just come right back again
The germs always return

I can't even see'em,
The germs are not visible to the naked eye

but I know they're up to something
Nonetheless, the artist acknowledges their presence

Hey, don't touch that - you don't know where it's been!
The artist refrains someone else from coming in contact with anything they have touched, as there may be germs present

They're all over me
The germs are present everywhere on the artist's body

They're inside of me
The germs have found their way inside of the singer's body

Can't get'em off a me
The artist is unable to rid themselves of the germs

I'm covered with... microscopic bacteria
The singer's body is significantly populated with tiny organisms

What do they want from me
The singer is confused about what the germs intend to do

What'll they do to me?
The singer is curious and uncertain about the germs' effects on their body

There's no escape for me
Alas, the artist is unable to get away from the germs' presence

I'm crawling with microscopic bacteria
The germs are abundant on the artist's physical form

Now if I ever dare to go to sleep
When the singer decides to go to bed

That's when they start their sneak attack
The germs begin to actively reproduce when the singer falls asleep

In the morning I wake up in utter horror
The next day, the artist wakes up with a feeling of disgust

To find my teeth are covered with bacterial plaque
The artist discovers their teeth are coated in potentially harmful germs

Can't get those parasitic creatures off my face
The germs are extremely difficult to remove from the artist's face

And there's more comin' every day
The germs reproduce rapidly, creating even more of them

I never said that they could camp out on my body
The artist did not invite or approve the germs staying in or on their body

I wish they'd pack their tiny little bags and move away
The singer expresses a desire for the germs to leave their body

They're creepin' around my shorts
The germs are present in the singer's pants

They're under the bathroom sink
The germs are lurking in the bathroom

They're ridin' inside my car
The germs have made their way into the artist's car

They're swimmin' in every drink
The germs are present in every drink the artist consumes

They're hidin' between my toes
The germs have settled in between the singer's toes

They're lurkin' in every kiss
The germs may also be present when someone else shares a kiss with the singer

I got'em way up my nose
The germs are present in the artist's nasal passage

In every orifice
The germs are present in every opening in the artist's body

I'm gonna show them who's boss
The artist vows to take control of the situation and get rid of the germs

I'm gonna get even yet
The singer plans to take revenge on the germs

Just gimme some Lysol spray
The artist requests disinfectant to get rid of the germs

Just hand me a moist towelette
The singer asks for a cleansing wipe to use on their body

Don't tell me I'm paranoid
The singer doesn't want to be told that their worries about the germs are irrational

I know that they're after me
The singer firmly believes that the germs have malicious intent towards them

Look under the microscope
The artist suggests looking at the germs under a microscope to understand their influence on their body

I can feel'em all over me
The artist can physically sense the germs' presence

Over every part of me
The germs have invaded every inch of the singer's body

I know they're watching me
The singer is convinced that the germs are keeping watch over them

They're always watching me
The artist believes the germs are constantly observing them

They're coming after me
The artist thinks the germs are intentionally attacking them

Won't somebody help
The artist pleads for assistance

Please somebody help me
The singer continues to request help

You've got to believe me
The artist implores others to trust them

They're out to get me
The singer believes that the germs are targeting them specifically

They want to control me
The singer thinks that the germs want to take over their body

They want to destroy me
The singer believes that the germs are looking to harm them

They're tryin' to kill me
The artist fears that the germs are attempting to cause their demise

It kind of upsets me
All of these feelings of paranoia and dread cause distress for the artist