Im a Wigga
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics

I wear fake gold to make up for my little cock
I wear fake gold jewelry to compensate for my small penis

Got my rag on backwards so I look just like 2pac
I wear my bandana backwards to try and imitate the rapper 2pac

With my cap tilted cause im trying to hide the fact that im from maine
I tilt my hat to try and conceal my origin from Maine

But I represent the south side
Despite being from Maine, I claim to represent the south side

Got a bb gun that looks just like a Mac 10
I own a bb gun that resembles a Mac 10

If I shot your bitch it might not even break the skin
If I were to shoot someone's girlfriend, it wouldn't even hurt her

I wear my jeans so low you can see my booty crack
I wear my pants extremely low, revealing my partial buttocks

Got chrome painted rims on my 86'pontiac with fuzzy dice
My 1986 Pontiac has rims painted in chrome and fuzzy dice hanging inside

In a rigged up black/white
My vehicle has a black and white paint job

My curfew's at 10 but I stay out till midnight
My curfew is at 10 pm, but I stay out late until midnight

Sitting' in my ride puffin bennys from my one hitter
I'm smoking marijuana from a one-hitter while sitting in my car

Can't smoke at home cause ill get caught by my baby sitter
I cannot smoke at home because my babysitter will catch me

I wanna be black but with my mustache I look Mexican
I desire to be black, but my mustache makes me look Mexican

I learned how to spit rhymes from reading green eggs and ham
I learned how to rap by reading Dr. Seuss' book Green Eggs and Ham

I talk plenty shit so that must make me hard
I talk a lot of trash, which I think makes me tough

I did a 2 day stretch for stealing at Wall-Mart
I was jailed for two days for stealing from Walmart

Im a wigga so go figure im just a white boy that wants to be a nigga
I am a white boy who wants to be black, hence the term 'wigga'

Don't forget the dew rag take me to the tanning booth
Don't forget to bring my dew rag when taking me to the tanning booth

Got a little bling bling next week im getting a gold tooth
I have some jewelry and plan to get a gold tooth next week

Calling up some honeys they only give me pussy cause I say I got the money
I call some girls and they only sleep with me because I lie saying I have money

None of my hoes are over 13 'cause to 2 of these little tricks my dick looks humongous
I only sleep with girls who are under 13 years old, because my penis looks larger in comparison to theirs

I live my mamma's basement and im almost 23
I still live in my mother's basement even though I'm almost 23 years old

Other than that there's nothing going for me
Apart from that, I am not doing anything worthwhile

Never had a hard day in my life you see except when I took my mother f**king g.e.d.
I never had any difficult experiences in life, except when I had to take the G.E.D examination

I aint a gangster bitch im just a prankster bitch and if you step to me I run just like a bitch
I am not a gangster, I am just someone who plays pranks, and if someone confronts me, I run away

I run just far enough to where you cant catch me
I run away from confrontation and only stop when the person following me can't catch up

Peel out in my ride and call you pussy
I drive off quickly and insult you by calling you a coward

But living in the suburbs im the toughest on my block
I live in the suburbs but still think I am the toughest person on the block

And every little hoe is riding all up on my jock
Girls who are promiscuous are eager to engage in sexual activities with me

Not packing too much meat so I stuff it with a sock
I don't have a large penis, so I use a sock to create the illusion of a bigger bulge

My closets full of Fubu sipping on the 40's
I have plenty of Fubu brand clothing and often drink 40-ounce bottles of malt liquor

My name is really Carl but you can call me shorty
My given name is Carl, but I prefer to be called Shorty

When you see me strutting down the street walking with a limp
When you see me walking with a limp on the street, trying to appear tough

Its not because im hard its cause I got my ass kicked by a bunch of real G's
I limp not because I'm tough, but because I was beaten up by actual gangsters

They beat my ass and shanked me with a knife
They hit me badly and stabbed me with a knife

For trying to be down and claim in ghetto life
The gangsters beat me up because I tried to act like I was part of ghetto life

It'll all catch up to you in the end some day
Being an imposter will eventually lead to repercussions

You'll be alone and ill be with all my friends and we'll kick your ass
While you will be lonely, I will be with my friends and we will beat you up

Yeah we'll beat you down mother f**ker
We will definitely beat you up

Don't make me act a clown I ain't in a gang
Don't make me behave foolishly, I'm not part of any gang

But I can talk the slang I know the Ebonics hand book like it aint no thang
Although I'm not part of the culture, I can speak the slang and understand Ebonics well

So I must be real yo I listen to mc hammer
I must be a genuine member of the culture because I listen to MC Hammer

And im down with my new dough so that pretty much how the story goes
I'm down with my new money, that's pretty much the extent of my story

Im the suburban gangster that f**ks 12 year olds
I am the suburban gangster who has sex with 12-year-old girls

Just a skinny honky that tries to act tough
I am a skinny white guy who tries to appear tough

But i'm the first to back down if you call my bluff
I'm quick to back down if someone challenges my toughness

Smoking token stank weed
I smoke marijuana of poor quality

Wear a pick in my hair
I keep a pick in my hair

Stomping in my air force 1's but cant afford 2 pair
I walk proudly in my Air Force One shoes, but cannot afford to purchase a second pair