Phony Calls
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics


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Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening
And you're stuck inside the house all alone
That's when you decided it might be fun to harass someone
Dial a random number up on your telephone
You ask if their refrigerator is running
Then you tell 'em they should go out and catch it
Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin' 'em from
They'd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet
Listen to me
Don't go makin' phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to
I know that you think it's funny drivin' folks up the wall
But it's really gettin' old fast
Little Melvin has a natural obsession
Askin' for Prince Albert in a can
He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call
To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan
He's callin' strangers up at three in the morning
Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four
He won't be laughin when they're tracin' his line
One day the phone police will be there at his door
Yo, hear me
Don't go makin' phony calls
Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to
Swear someday I'm gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall
How long is this phase gonna last?
Come on Moe's bar, what'll ya eat, beat or drink?
Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there?
Last name Rotch.
Hold on. I'll check.
Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch!
Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke.
One of these days, I'm going to catch you,
And I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!
Don't go makin' phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to
You went through the New York City phone book and prank called 'em all
Hope that you grow out of this fast
Dont' go makin' phony calls,
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to




Betcha think it's funny when you're drivin' folks right up the wall
But you're just a pain in the aaa....

Overall Meaning

"Weird Al" Yankovic's song "Phony Calls" is a humorous commentary on the practice of prank calling. The song tells the story of two different characters who find it amusing to make prank phone calls. The first character is an unnamed person who is home alone while their parents are out for the evening. They decide to call a random number and ask if their refrigerator is running, then tell them they should go out and catch it. The second character is Little Melvin, who has a natural obsession with making collect calls and asking for Prince Albert in a can.


The song portrays both characters as immature and lacking empathy for the people they are calling. The first character is warned that if they keep making prank calls, someone may come and hurt them. Little Melvin is also warned that he will eventually be caught by the "phone police" and face serious consequences. Despite these warnings, both characters continue to make phony calls.


Overall, the song is a lighthearted warning about the potential dangers and consequences of making prank phone calls. It encourages listeners to stick to dialing the seven-digit numbers they are used to and avoid harassing strangers on the phone.


Line by Line Meaning

Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening
Parents are leaving for the night.


And you're stuck inside the house all alone
You're alone inside the house.


That's when you decided it might be fun to harass someone
You decided to harass someone.


Dial a random number up on your telephone
Dial any phone number.


You ask if their refrigerator is running
You ask if their refrigerator works.


Then you tell 'em they should go out and catch it
You tell them to chase their refrigerator.


Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin' 'em from
If they find you, you're in trouble.


They'd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet
They'll hurt you with a tool called a ratchet.


Don't go makin' phony calls
Stop making fake calls.


Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to
Only call numbers you know.


I know that you think it's funny drivin' folks up the wall
You find it amusing to annoy people.


But it's really gettin' old fast
It's not funny anymore.


Little Melvin has a natural obsession
Melvin loves pranking people.


Askin' for Prince Albert in a can
Melvin likes calling and asking for something that doesn't exist.


He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call
He enjoys making calls without paying for them.


To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan
He calls people he doesn't know, even those who live in Japan.


He's callin' strangers up at three in the morning
He makes calls at odd hours.


Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four
He pranks people by ordering pizza for them.


He won't be laughin when they're tracin' his line
Melvin will be caught and punished.


One day the phone police will be there at his door
The police will find him and arrest him.


Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to
Only call numbers you know.


Swear someday I'm gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall
Someone will remove the phone cord to stop the prank calls.


Come on Moe's bar, what'll ya eat, beat or drink?
Order some food or drinks at Moe's Bar.


Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there?
Calling to ask if Mike is available to talk.


Last name Rotch.
Asking for the last name of Mike.


Hold on. I'll check.
Asking you to wait for confirmation.


Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch!
Pronouncing the name in a funny way.


Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Asking if anyone knows where Mike is.


One of these days, I'm going to catch you,
Someone will catch you one day.


And I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!
The catcher will hurt you badly.


You went through the New York City phone book and prank called 'em all
You called many numbers from the NYC phone book to prank people.


Hope that you grow out of this fast
Hope you stop pranking people soon.


Betcha think it's funny when you're drivin' folks right up the wall
You find it amusing to annoy people.


But you're just a pain in the aaa....
You're just irritating people.




Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC
Written by: LISA LOPES, MARQUEZE ETHRIDGE, RICO RENARD WADE, PATRICK A. BROWN, RAMON MURRAY, WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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