Going Ugly Early
Cledus T. Judd Lyrics

Well me and Bobby Ray was goin down to a pickup joint just outside of town,
My friend Bobby Ray and I were headed to a spot where we could meet women outside of the city.

You know a meeting market, where you pick up chicks
The place is well known as a spot where one can easily find women to pick up.

Well knowing Bobby Ray as I do, He'll be goin home alone before the night is through,
I know Bobby Ray will be going back home without anyone for the night.

He's just too darn picky, he's always wantin to score big!
He's very fussy and selective with the women he wants to pick up.

Well I'm not leavin here alone, I'm gonna compromise, early on,
I've decided not to leave the spot without a woman, and I'll be compromising on some aspects earlier on.

Yea, I'm goin ugly early tonight,
I'm willing to settle for someone who may not be particularly attractive.

She may not be a beauty queen but that's alright,
I'm okay with finding someone who may not be considered conventionally beautiful.

I'm not waitin round for one that looks good in the light,
I don't want to continue waiting around for someone who only looks good in certain lighting.

So Bobby I says,
So I said to Bobby,

Please don't stare, but check them 2 out standin over there,
Don't stare, but take a look at those two women standing over there.

He says you mean the good lookin blonde and the one with the big zits?
Bobby Ray asked me if I was referring to the attractive blonde or the one with noticeable acne.

I says, yea that's right and here's my plan, I'm not goin for miss scandinavian, Her chubby lil friend...well that's my pick
I confirmed that those two were the ones I was talking about and declared my intention to not pursue the more conventionally attractive one, but instead to choose her chubby friend.

You can drink them cute but not skinny,
Alcohol can make a woman appear cute or attractive, but not necessarily thin.

You get too picky, you ain't gettin any
If you're too selective, it's unlikely you'll end up with anyone.

Then all of a sudden to my surprise, the pretty one was givin me the eye,
Unexpectedly, the conventionally attractive woman began showing interest in me.

And I was fixin to move up from a 2 to a 10!
I was excited at the possibility of upgrading from my original choice to the more attractive woman.

She said, you know I don't live to far from here, I'll get my purse and you pay for them beers,
The woman said that she didn't live too far away and offered to get her purse while I paid for the drinks.

And I was feelin pretty puffed up til she turned to her friend.
I was feeling quite pleased with myself until the woman turned to her friend.

I guess she didn't I'd here, Them hurtful words she whispered in little chubby's ear,
I suppose she didn't think I could hear the hurtful words she whispered to her chubby friend.

Yea I'm goin ugly early tonight, His friend is better lookin but I ain't got the time,
The attractive woman stated that she was settling for her less attractive friend because she didn't have the time to wait for someone better looking.

I'm not waitin round for one that looks good in the light, She said I'm goin ugly early tonight.
The woman reiterated that she wasn't going to wait around for someone who only looked good in certain lighting conditions, and that she was choosing her less attractive friend to go home with.

You know she really hurt my pride but way down deep inside I'm glad she's goin ugly tonight!
Although the woman's words and actions hurt my pride, deep down, I'm actually glad that she's settling for her less attractive friend.