Growing up in Malibu, California, she began learning the violin at the age of four and left regular school five years later with the goal of becoming a world-class violinist; she practiced eight or nine hours a day and read a wide range of literature. Progressing to writing her own music, she studied under various teachers and went to Indiana University, which she left over issues regarding the relationship between classical music and the appearance of the performer. Through her own independent label Traitor Records, Autumn debuted with her classical album On a Day: Music for Violin & Continuo, followed by the release in 2003 of her album Enchant.
She appeared in singer Courtney Love's backing band on her 2004 America's Sweetheart tour and returned to Europe. She released the 2006 album Opheliac with the German label Trisol Music Group. In 2007, she released Laced/Unlaced; the re-release of On a Day... appeared as Laced with songs on the electric violin as Unlaced. She later left Trisol to join New York-based The End Records in 2009 and release Opheliac in the United States, where previously it had only been available as an import. Currently she is on tour to promote her newest album Fight Like A Girl. She played the role of Painted Doll in Darren Lynn Bousman's 2012 film The Devil's Carnival.
Goodbye
Emilie Autumn Lyrics
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And not enough
And so the play is finally at an end
You never had the care
To call my bluff
And so I must be pleased
To be your friend
But what then was the purpose of this game?
It's true
I rather like who I became
But what am I to do with who I've been?
For I may wish to meet myself someday
Among the ashes of a fire long dead
To see my shadow there and hear it say
That it was happy with the life it lead
What emptiness awaits me?
This I fear
Far more than any peril I might face
My purpose in this world became less clear
When you were taken from your cherished place
Within my wishing heart
And went your way
So willingly it almost makes me ill
To think it never crossed your mind to stay
Pushes the dagger deep
Completes the kill
And yet how much of this was done by me?
Had I the courage would you still have flown?
How sad to think this was not destiny
But my mistake
Yet how could I have known?
Now here is my dilemma
As it seems
Do I accept the score that fate has set
And calmly watch the passing of my dreams
Or do I dare to place
Another bet
That where the curtain falls
Another rises
If I am wrong then strike me for my sins
But I believe our acts and thin disguises
Were but a prologue to what now begins…
In these lyrics of "Goodbye", Emilie Autumn presents a poignant reflection on the end of a relationship. She admits that she has said too much and not enough, suggesting that she may feel regret about the way she has communicated in the past. The "play" is over, and she acknowledges that she never had a chance to win, confessing her confusion about the game's purpose. Despite this, she has come to accept who she has become, but she is uncertain about how to deal with who she has been.
The loss of the relationship has left Emilie feeling a sense of emptiness that she fears more than any other danger. She questions her purpose in the world and wonders if she should accept her fate or place another bet. The final stanza reveals her hopeful optimism. She believes that what has happened so far is just the prologue to what comes next, suggesting a bright future ahead, even in the face of painful endings.
Overall, this song is a poignant representation of the difficult feelings that come with the end of a relationship. The lyrics show the range of emotions involved, from regret to acceptance to hope, as Emilie comes to terms with what has happened and looks towards the future.
Line by Line Meaning
And so I've said too much
I've revealed too many feelings and thoughts
And not enough
But there are many things I still haven't said
And so the play is finally at an end
Our story has come to a close
You never had the care
You never cared enough
To call my bluff
To challenge me or question the truth
And so I must be pleased
But I have to be content
To be your friend
With being just friends
But what then was the purpose of this game?
What was the point of all this?
I never really had a chance to win
I never stood a chance of winning your love
It's true
It's a fact
I rather like who I became
But I've grown to like the person I am now
But what am I to do with who I've been?
But what about the person I used to be?
For I may wish to meet myself someday
I might want to meet my former self one day
Among the ashes of a fire long dead
When everything is over and done with
To see my shadow there and hear it say
To confront my past self and hear it speak
That it was happy with the life it lead
That it was content with the choices it made
What emptiness awaits me?
What kind of void is waiting for me?
This I fear
I am terrified of this outcome
Far more than any peril I might face
More than any danger I could encounter
My purpose in this world became less clear
My reason for being here is now unclear
When you were taken from your cherished place
When you left me and our relationship ended
Within my wishing heart
In the place where I hoped, wished and longed for us
And went your way
And chose to leave me behind
So willingly it almost makes me ill
You left so willingly that it sickens me to think about it
To think it never crossed your mind to stay
And you never even considered staying with me
Pushes the dagger deep
It hurts me deeply to think about this
Completes the kill
It is the final blow to my troubled heart
And yet how much of this was done by me?
But how much of this was my own fault?
Had I the courage would you still have flown?
If I had been braver, would you still have left?
How sad to think this was not destiny
It's heartbreaking to think this wasn't meant to be
But my mistake
But it was my own mistake
Yet how could I have known?
But how was I supposed to know it would end like this?
Now here is my dilemma
And now I am in a difficult position
As it seems
As it appears to be
Do I accept the score that fate has set
Should I just accept my fate?
And calmly watch the passing of my dreams
And watch my hopes and dreams fade away
Or do I dare to place
Or should I take a risk and
Another bet
Take another chance
That where the curtain falls
That where this chapter ends
Another rises
A new one begins
If I am wrong then strike me for my sins
If I am making a mistake, I will bear the consequences
But I believe our acts and thin disguises
But I think our actions and behaviors were just a prelude
Were but a prologue to what now begins…
To what is about to happen next...
Contributed by Isaac P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.