I should hate you
Gracie Abrams Lyrics

Last night, I spiralled alone in the kitchen
Yesterday evening, I experienced a downward emotional spiral while being by myself in the kitchen

Making pretend that the furniture listened
Engaging in a make-believe scenario where I imagined the furniture as attentive listeners

Wasn't the best of my mental conditions, but I tried
My mental state wasn't optimal, but I made an effort to cope with it

Thinkin' of you without any forgiveness
Contemplating your actions without granting forgiveness

Because I was the one who would stay up and call you
I was the person who would stay awake to call you

And I'd drive to your house for the shit that you went through
I would drive to your house to provide support during difficult times

And I wasted my breath when I tried to console you, didn't I?
My attempts to comfort you were futile, weren't they?

'Cause we didn't happen the way we were supposed to
Our relationship didn't unfold as it was expected to

Pulled the knife off my bag, it was right where you left it
I retrieved the knife from my bag, it was precisely where you left it

But your aim's kinda perfect, I'll give you the credit
However, your aim is remarkably accurate, and I acknowledge that skill

I just drank something strong to try to forget, but it wasn't right
I consumed a potent drink in an attempt to erase my memories, but it didn't feel satisfactory

No, you're not even here, but you're doin' my head in
No, you're not physically present, yet you're deeply troubling my thoughts

I should hate you, I feel stupid
I should despise you, but instead, I feel foolish

Like I almost crashed my car
Similar to the sensation that I nearly had a car accident

Drivin' home to talk about you
Driving back home with the intention of discussing you

At my table in the dark
At my table, surrounded by darkness

All I ever think about is
My thoughts are solely consumed by

Where the hell you even are
Where on earth you might be located

And I swear to God I'd kill you
I emphatically promise that I would harm you

If I loved you less hard
In the hypothetical scenario that I loved you to a lesser extent

After all of this time, I still get disappointed
Even after the passage of considerable time, I continue to experience feelings of disappointment

Bet you're doing alright and you don't even know it
I wager that you're managing well, unaware of your own contentment

How it's all 'cause of you that my standards are broken in my mind
You are the reason why my expectations have been shattered in my perception

I would bend back to you if you left the door open
I would willingly return to you if you provided an opportunity for reconciliation