How do you describe Ivor Biggun? - The Pharaoh of Filth, perhaps? The Bawdy… Read Full Bio ↴How do you describe Ivor Biggun? - The Pharaoh of Filth, perhaps? The Bawdy, Vaudevillian Bard? The man whose hand you'd least like to shake? Sadly, all of these and much more. But don't take my word for it, listen to his music and shudder.

aka Doc Cox from the TV programme "That's Life!".

The Ukelele Man
Ivor Biggun Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Guess what it is I'm holding
Down here in my hand
It's given pleasure to millions
Both up and down the land
It's my little ukulele
My treasure and my joy
I've plonked and plucked it daily
Ever since I was a boy

I practice and I practice
That right hand rhythm routine
And now I've got an action like
A massage parlour queen

But nobody does it like the Ukulele Man
No-one can hit that spot
If he can't make you smile
Then no-one can
He's the original
From way back yonder
When it all began
Nobody does it like the Ukulele Man

I've such co-ordination
In my fingers and my thumb
An action learned from years of sitting
Down to have a strum
My right hand goes like billy-o
Up top my left one fiddles
Performing archipelagos and flams
And paradiddles
I stroll into the spotlight
I give the strings a clout
But when I start to warble
The people start to shout
"Where's George?"

Nobody does it like the Ukulele Man
No-one can hit that spot
If he can't make you smile
Then no-one can
Just leaning on the lamp
Or TT racing at the Isle Of Man
Nobody does it like the Ukulele Man

I like a bit of blues and boogie, like a bit of skiffle and soul
But what I love's
A little stick of Blackpool rock-rock-rock 'n' roll
When women idolise me
I always have to tell 'em
Stop poking at me plectrums and
Don't violate me vellum
And though my technique thrills them
I have never worked out why
The end of my performance
They always seem to sigh
"Oh, is that all? Don't I get an encore?"

Nobody does it like the Ukulele Man
No-one can hit that spot
If he can't make you smile
Then no-one can
He's window cleaning with
His eyes on Fanlight Fanny's fan
Nobody does it like the Ukulele Man

"I've got crate of his 78's and I'm his greatest fan"

Overall Meaning

The song "The Ukulele Man" by Ivor Biggun is an ode to the ukulele and the joy it brings to both the performer and the audience. In the first verse, the singer introduces his little ukulele as his treasure and joy. He talks about practicing constantly to perfect his rhythm and technique until he got an "action like a massage parlour queen." However, Biggun proclaims that nobody can play the ukulele like him, as he is the original from way back yonder. He performs archipelagos, flams, and paradiddles and can make the audience smile like no one else can.

Biggun's immense co-ordination is highlighted in the second verse, as he talks about the years of sitting, strumming, and fiddling, which have provided him with a billy-o rhythm. His right hand is a blur against the strings, and his left-hand fingers are nimble and pliant. Nevertheless, the audience always asks for more despite his thorough performance.

In summary, "The Ukulele Man" by Ivor Biggun celebrates the ukulele, the joy it brings, and the skill required to play it. Biggun acknowledges his mastery of the instrument and asserts that no one can perform like him.

Line by Line Meaning

Guess what it is I'm holding
I'm holding a tiny instrument that has brought joy to many people.

Down here in my hand
The instrument I'm holding is small enough to fit in my hand.

It's given pleasure to millions
Many people have found happiness through the music produced by this instrument.

Both up and down the land
People all across the country have enjoyed the music created by this instrument.

It's my little ukulele
The instrument I'm holding is a ukulele - a small stringed instrument that originated in Hawaii.

My treasure and my joy
I love my ukulele and consider it a valuable possession that brings me happiness.

I've plonked and plucked it daily
I play my ukulele every day and have become quite skilled at it.

Ever since I was a boy
I have been playing the ukulele since I was a child.

I practice and I practice
I dedicate a lot of time and effort to improving my ukulele playing.

That right hand rhythm routine
I have developed a specific playing style for my right hand.

And now I've got an action like
I have developed a playing technique that is smooth and pleasurable to watch.

A massage parlour queen
My playing technique is reminiscent of the smooth movements of a massage therapist.

But nobody does it like the Ukulele Man
I believe that I am the best ukulele player around.

No-one can hit that spot
No other ukulele player can produce the same level of enjoyment as I can.

If he can't make you smile
If my playing isn't enough to make you happy,

Then no-one can
nobody else's playing will be able to make you happy either.

He's the original
I am the first and greatest ukulele player.

From way back yonder
I have been playing the ukulele for a very long time.

When it all began
I was one of the pioneers of the ukulele playing style.

I've such co-ordination
I have a high level of skill and precision when playing the ukulele.

In my fingers and my thumb
I have developed a lot of control over my fingers and thumb when playing the ukulele.

An action learned from years of sitting
I have spent a lot of time sitting and playing the ukulele, which has helped me develop my playing technique.

Down to have a strum
I enjoy playing the ukulele and often do it for fun.

My right hand goes like billy-o
My right hand moves very quickly and accurately when playing the ukulele.

Up top my left one fiddles
My left hand moves around the fretboard of the ukulele to create different sounds.

Performing archipelagos and flams
I can use my ukulele playing to create a variety of sounds and rhythms.

And paradiddles
I can use a specific drumming technique called paradiddles to enhance my ukulele playing.

I stroll into the spotlight
I am confident in my ukulele playing and am not afraid to perform in front of a crowd.

I give the strings a clout
I play the ukulele strings with a lot of force and energy.

But when I start to warble
When I start to sing while playing the ukulele,

The people start to shout
The audience becomes very excited and loud.

"Where's George?"
The audience is alluding to a famous performer named George Formby, who was known for playing similar music to mine.

Just leaning on the lamp
Sometimes I take a break from playing the ukulele to lean casually against a lamp or other object.

Or TT racing at the Isle Of Man
I have other interests, such as watching motorcycle racing at the Isle Of Man.

I like a bit of blues and boogie, like a bit of skiffle and soul
I enjoy playing different styles of music on the ukulele.

But what I love's
However, my favorite genre of music is

A little stick of Blackpool rock-rock-rock 'n' roll
a specific type of music that is catchy and enjoyable to listen to.

When women idolise me
When female fans look up to me and admire my talent,

I always have to tell 'em
I need to remind them that I am not interested in romantic relationships.

Stop poking at me plectrums and
They need to stop trying to touch my ukulele pick (plectrum).

Don't violate me vellum
They need to stop touching the surface of my ukulele, which is made of an animal-skin material called vellum.

And though my technique thrills them
I know that my playing technique is impressive and entertaining to watch,

I have never worked out why
but I don't understand why that makes people respond the way they do.

The end of my performance
When I finish playing the ukulele for an audience,

They always seem to sigh
the audience always has a bittersweet reaction.

"Oh, is that all? Don't I get an encore?"
They want me to play more music, so they can enjoy it longer and to a greater extent.

He's window cleaning with
People believe that when I'm not playing the ukulele,

His eyes on Fanlight Fanny's fan
I am fixated on a specific young woman named Fanlight Fanny.

"I've got crate of his 78's and I'm his greatest fan"
A fan of mine has a large collection of my vinyl records and considers themselves to be my biggest supporter.

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