The Collar And The Garter
Stephin Merritt Lyrics


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He speaks as sweetly as he can
But words do not enthrall her
They dance around the washing pan
The collar and the garter

He tartly starts up repartee
But her retorts are smarter
She will not name a wedding day
The garter and the collar

So to and fro and so they dance
The collar and the garter

He swears if he should lose his love
Then love will gain a martyr
They part and that's the story of
The garter and the collar

He keeps his braggadocio
Through years of fall and squalor




And toasts the maid who loved him so
The collar and the garter

Overall Meaning

The opening lines of Stephin Merritt's The Collar And The Garter describe a man trying, but failing, to charm his lover through words alone. The two of them dance, presumably in the midst of household chores, with the washing pan serving as a makeshift dance floor. The metaphor of the "collar and the garter" likely alludes to the man's attempts to woo his lover through both formal and informal means--the collar representative of a more traditional, formal approach, while the garter represents a more intimate and suggestive means of seduction. Despite the man's banter and flirtatious attempts, his lover remains unswayed, answering his comments with sharper retorts of her own.


The song's chorus describes the push-and-pull dance between the two partners, as they shift between moments of apparent closeness and those of distance. The man threatens to pledge his life to love, should he lose his lover, but ultimately the two separate, and the story ends with the man admiring his own bravado, toasting the maid who never agreed to be his bride.


Overall, The Collar And The Garter depicts a dynamic between two lovers that is neither entirely hopeful nor entirely negative, the imagery of the dance and the metaphors of the collar and the garter serving to illustrate the tension between attraction and resistance.


Line by Line Meaning

He speaks as sweetly as he can
He tries to be as charming as possible


But words do not enthrall her
But his words aren't enough to win her over


They dance around the washing pan
Their argument goes back and forth


The collar and the garter
They can't seem to communicate effectively


He tartly starts up repartee
He begins the conversation with a sarcastic tone


But her retorts are smarter
But she always has a clever response


She will not name a wedding day
She doesn't want to commit to marriage


The garter and the collar
Their argument revolves around their inability to connect


So to and fro and so they dance
Their argument goes back and forth


The collar and the garter
Their communication issues persist


He swears if he should lose his love
He promises to be a martyr for his love


Then love will gain a martyr
His love will be remembered for eternity


They part and that's the story of
They leave each other and that's the end of the story


The garter and the collar
Their miscommunication led to their separation


He keeps his braggadocio
He continues to boast and brag


Through years of fall and squalor
Through tough times and hardships


And toasts the maid who loved him so
And celebrates the woman who once loved him


The collar and the garter
Their communication issues are still present




Contributed by Makayla O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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