"I wrote this when I was 19. It’s quite abstract because I didn’t really know what I was saying. I hadn’t gone through therapy and I wasn’t really sure of myself. And in a way, it kind of makes it more poetic and free. It amounts to this feeling of not being satisfied in your life and waiting for some things to be different. When I was writing the song, I was just starting to feel quite spacey and out of it, and that was the beginning of a mental health condition I now know the name of. But at the time, I thought this feeling was just here to stay. I kept imagining myself on my deathbed being like, ‘Oh God, it all happened, and I didn’t even feel any of that.’"
—via Apple Music
when
dodie Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
'Cause I've never been in love
Everyone falls for the sunshine disguise
Distracted by who they're thinking of
I'd rather date an idea
Something I'll never find
Sure, I'll live in the moment, but I'm never happy here
I'm surrounded by greener looking time
Am I the only one wishing life away?
Never caught up in the moment, busy begging the past to stay
Memories painted with much brighter ink
They tell me I loved, teach me how to think
I'll take what I can get
'Cause I'm too damp for a spark
Kissing sickly sweet guys
'Cause they say they like my eyes
But I'd only ever see them in the dark
I'm sick of faking diary entries
Gotta get it in my head, I'll never be sixteen again
I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love
Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when
Am I the only one wishing life away?
Never caught up in the moment, busy begging the past to stay
Memories painted with much brighter ink
They tell me I loved, teach me how to think
I'm sick of faking diary entries
Gotta get it in my head, I'll never be sixteen again
I'm waiting to live, still waiting to love
Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when
Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when
The song "When" by dodie explores themes of nostalgia, longing, and feeling disconnected from the present moment. In the first verse, the lyrics suggest that the singer has been living a lie, pretending to be in love while knowing deep down that they have never truly experienced it. They observe how people often fall for the allure of someone's outward appearance and become distracted by thoughts of that person. However, the singer would rather have a relationship with an abstract idea or concept, something they know they will never find.
The second verse delves deeper into the singer's mindset, revealing their tendency to wish time away and dwell on the past. They feel as if they are not fully present in the moment, always longing for what has already passed. The memories of love and life are portrayed as being painted with "brighter ink," suggesting a sense of idealization or nostalgia. These memories shape the way the singer thinks and perceives love, leading them to question their own experiences.
The chorus repeats the notion of faking diary entries and the realization that they can never relive their youth. The singer is yearning to truly live and love, but feels as if they are constantly waiting for something that may never come. The song ends with a plea for the passing of time, acknowledging that eventually, everything will be over, but the question of "when" will still remain.
Overall, "When" captures the bittersweetness of longing for something that feels out of reach and the struggle to fully embrace the present.
Line by Line Meaning
I think I've been telling lies
I have been dishonest with myself and others
'Cause I've never been in love
Because I have never truly experienced love
Everyone falls for the sunshine disguise
People are often deceived by appearances and facade of happiness
Distracted by who they're thinking of
Preoccupied with thoughts of someone else
I'd rather date an idea
I prefer to fantasize about an idealized concept
Something I'll never find
A longing for something that is not attainable
Sure, I'll live in the moment, but I'm never happy here
While I appear to embrace the present, deep down, I am not content
I'm surrounded by greener looking time
Surrounded by experiences that seem more appealing than my own
Am I the only one wishing life away?
Do I stand alone in yearning for time to pass quickly?
Never caught up in the moment, busy begging the past to stay
Always preoccupied with holding onto the past instead of fully experiencing the present
Memories painted with much brighter ink
Recollections embellished with more positive emotions
They tell me I loved, teach me how to think
The memories remind me of a past love and influence my perspective
I'll take what I can get
I will settle for whatever comes my way
'Cause I'm too damp for a spark
Due to my emotional state, I am unable to ignite passion or excitement
Kissing sickly sweet guys
Engaging with individuals who may seem charming but lack depth
'Cause they say they like my eyes
Because they express appreciation for my physical appearance
But I'd only ever see them in the dark
However, I can only envision meaningful connection with them under less ideal circumstances
I'm sick of faking diary entries
I am tired of pretending in my personal writings
Gotta get it in my head, I'll never be sixteen again
I need to accept that I cannot relive the innocence and naivety of my youth
I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love
I am delaying fully experiencing life and genuine love
Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when
Even when everything comes to an end, I will still be questioning the timing
Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when
Once everything concludes, I will continue to ponder about the right time
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Kassner Associated Publishers Ltd
Written by: Dorothy Clark
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@teacupweeb
Four years ago, I wrote myself a letter to open May 20th (I gave myself that date because I had no clue when I'd graduate high school). Four years ago, I heard your song "when" and cried to it. I felt every word, though I wasn't 16 at the time.
Dodie, I know I'm one of many fans that have grown with your music. I had been thinking about this song a few days ago, I couldn't quite remember the words, it was such a bittersweet feeling. I couldn't remember the melody. Yet, I didn't look for the song. Just like that, the thought flew away and I didn't think of it again.
Things are getting harder. I have no clue where I'm going from here. I've complained so much about school while growing up that I never thought I'd miss its structure in my life. I'm unsure if I'll attend college, or if I'll find a different path. My mind only bites hard at me, for not being productive, for not figuring anything out. We live in a world where taking your time to enjoy things is labelled as "lazy," but what measures that? What measures productivity? It's like we've forgotten about the tortoise and the hare. We just have to take things step by step, just being alive is a beautiful thing.
My heart beat so quickly when I saw the notification of this song on my phone. I thought it was unbelievable. How weird was the coincidence, or maybe things aligned for a second. It helped me realized how far I'd come. You have no idea how much I needed this, and though I'm a small voice in a crowd, I'd like to say thank you.
I'll never be 18 again. In thirteen days I'll open a letter I wrote at 14. I'm still waiting to live, but I think I've grown a little closer to love.
Thank you.
@Louisepentland
So beautiful my love. I always think of past things with much brighter ink too xxx
@doddleoddle
🖤🖤🖤
@JamesMarriott
this was my favourite song released this year
@nightchemistry
hello james
@star-skull
OMG JAMES
@pinkiestpiggy336
ello
@zyt1217
I FINALLY GET THE CAR THING!!! I THINK!!! dodie is always in the passenger/back seat of the car meaning that she's never felt in control of her life and she's sort of just watching everything going by and not being able to do anything to stop the car or slow down
@lidda9010
She's behind the wheel in before the line tho
@Valeria-nz7ty
@Lidda yeah that means that she’s finally getting control on her life. It feels like before the line’s video is a resolution
@oliviamiddleditch2439
@Valeria I think this too