Growing up in the suburbs of Oklahoma McKenzie was a part of a classical guitar ensemble at an arts-focused public high school. At home, she would write original songs over arpeggios she learned in guitar class and uploaded her original songs and covers on YouTube. She was determined to trade the great plains for a more populated skyline. After receiving a scholarship to Pratt Institute for visual web programming, McKenzie moved to Brooklyn, New York in 2013.
Between classes, McKenzie wrote music as a form of catharsis from rigid school assignments. During the second semester, she showed a classmate some of the songs she had been making and her classmate introduced her to several electronic music producers on Soundcloud, lent her a midi keyboard, and encouraged her to buy a real microphone. Her first released on Soundcloud, ‘Starchild’ (prod. by melodrama) received 100,000 plays in 24 hours.
Mothica is an alter ego that isn’t afraid of honesty even if it means showing weakness. Her distinct raspy yet honey-soaked voice is not one of vocal training, but of heartfelt emotion. Her storytelling writing style and unexpected melodies have set her apart in an music scene that is overrun with sameness. She lends her voice to many genres via collaborations, bringing electronic elements to life with the emotions she shares.
McKenzie desired the skill to produce her own instrumentals, so she learned Ableton and released an entirely self-produced EP called Mythic in 2013. Her somber song about self-empowerment, “No One” reached No. 6 on the US Viral Spotify Charts. The collaboration and record label requests came pouring in but she carefully hand selected her music partners and released the smash "Clear" with Canadian producer Pusher. The song currently sits at 12 million plays on Spotify put her on the radar for everyone from Spotify execs to VSCO to Teen Vogue.
Turning down every record label offer, Mothica remained independent and began performing around New York. She performed her first show solo, and it was completely sold out. She finished up a second solo EP called Heavy Heart about her experience with depression. She continues to grow into her writing style while collaborating with the likes of Tennyson, Crywolf, Said The Sky, and Electric Mantis.
Like her music, Mothica's live show continues to evolve. Playing from coast to coast with several headlining shows, 2017 saw the first iteration of a live music experience for Mothica with three additional band members interpreting lively versions of the songs her fans know best.
She started out 2018 with one million monthly Spotify listeners anticipating the upcoming release of two EP's throughout the calendar year. On Valentine’s Day, she will release her next single, Lovetalk, accompanied by a music video and is planning a late April US tour.
VICES
mothica Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Its not love it's just a guy
And it's got me feeling right for the night but
In the morning when he's gone
I'm alone with all my thoughts
So I gotta drink em up till I'm numb
And
It's never enough, pass me the cup
Got nowhere to run, so pour me another one
I'm taking it all
I'm getting lost
Im making a fool of myself
With all these
Vices
I really don't know why I'm like this
And I just don't care what the price is
'Cause I need these vices (oh)
If it's not drugs it's drinks
If it's not drinks it's things
If it's not things it's people
Places I don't want to be
These vices
Is it okay I'm not okay?
I don't sleep too much these days
And I hate being awake when the sun's out
Lock my door and shut the blinds
They can't see my bloodshot eyes
I got habits I can't hide in the light and
(Ooh)
It's never enough, pass me the cup
Got nowhere to run, so pour me another one
I'm taking it all
I'm getting lost
I'm making a fool of myself
With all these
Vices
I really don't know why I'm like this
And I just don't care what the price is
'Cause I need these vices (oh)
If it's not drugs it's drinks
If it's not drinks it's things
If it's not things it's people
Places I don't want to be
These vices
And I just don't care what the price is
I'm tryna fill up the silence
With all these vices (oh)
Burning through a cigarette
Got somebody in my bed
But I'm still just in my head, in my head and
All the signs are turning red
And I'm starting to regret, and I'm starting to regret
To regret these
Vices
I really don't know why I'm like this
And I just don't care what the price is
'Cause I need these vices (oh)
If it's not drugs it's drinks
If it's not drinks it's things
If it's not things it's people
Places I don't want to be
These vices
And I just don't care what the price is
I'm tryna fill up the silence
With all these vices (oh)
In "Vices," Mothica is expressing her struggle with toxic coping mechanisms in the wake of a brief fling. She acknowledges that being with this person is not about love, but rather satisfying a temporary desire. She knows that in the morning, he will be gone and leave her with her racing thoughts. To numb the pain and avoid facing her problems, Mothica turns to vices such as drinking, drugs, and partying. She recognizes that her habits are destructive, but doesn't care about the price because she can't face her emotions without them. She's trying to fill the void of loneliness and emptiness with her vices, despite the fact that they're only a temporary fix.
The chorus of "Vices" has a repetitive quality, which can be interpreted in a few different ways. Firstly, it may represent Mothica's cycle of addiction, where she's constantly searching for something to fill the void and momentarily satisfy her. Secondly, the repetition could emphasize the all-consuming nature of addiction, where vices take over every aspect of her life. Lastly, the repetition could represent the internal struggle that Mothica is facing, where she's both aware that her vices are causing harm, but still feels that she needs them to survive. Overall, "Vices" is a raw and honest depiction of the difficulty in resisting harmful coping mechanisms.
Line by Line Meaning
Feel like I'm just passing by
I feel like I'm just existing without direction or purpose
Its not love it's just a guy
I'm not in love, just temporary physically involved with a guy
And it's got me feeling right for the night but
Being with him makes me feel good temporarily
In the morning when he's gone
After he leaves
I'm alone with all my thoughts
I'm left with my own heavy thoughts
So I gotta drink em up till I'm numb
I need to drink until I'm numb enough to forget about my thoughts
(Ooh) It's never enough, pass me the cup
Drinking isn't ever enough, give me more to drink
Got nowhere to run, so pour me another one
I have nowhere else to go, give me more to drink
I'm taking it all
I'm indulging in everything
I'm getting lost
I'm losing myself
I'm making a fool of myself
I'm humiliating myself
With all these vices
With all these destructive habits
I really don't know why I'm like this
I don't understand why I have these habits
And I just don't care what the price is
I don't care about the negative consequences of my actions
'Cause I need these vices (oh)
Because I feel like I need these habits to cope
If it's not drugs it's drinks
If it's not drug addiction, it's alcohol addiction
If it's not drinks it's things
If it's not alcohol addiction, it's materialism
If it's not things it's people
If it's not materialism, it's toxic relationships
Places I don't want to be
Places that make me uncomfortable
These vices
These destructive habits
Is it okay I'm not okay?
Is it acceptable to not be okay?
I don't sleep too much these days
I don't sleep much lately
And I hate being awake when the sun's out
I dislike being awake during daylight
Lock my door and shut the blinds
I close all the windows and doors
They can't see my bloodshot eyes
I'm hiding my red and tired eyes
I got habits I can't hide in the light and
I have habits that I can't hide from others
(Ooh) It's never enough, pass me the cup
I'll never have enough to drink, give me more
Got nowhere to run, so pour me another one
I'm trapped, give me more to drink
I'm taking it all
I'm indulging in everything
I'm getting lost
I'm losing myself
I'm making a fool of myself
I'm humiliating myself
With all these vices
With all these harmful habits
And I just don't care what the price is
I don't care about the negative consequences of my actions
'Cause I need these vices (oh)
Because I feel like I need these habits to cope
If it's not drugs it's drinks
If it's not drug addiction, it's alcohol addiction
If it's not drinks it's things
If it's not alcohol addiction, it's materialism
If it's not things it's people
If it's not materialism, it's toxic relationships
Places I don't want to be
Places that make me uncomfortable
These vices
These destructive habits
And I just don't care what the price is
I don't care about the negative consequences of my actions
I'm tryna fill up the silence
I'm trying to escape the silence with these habits
With all these vices (oh)
With all these harmful habits
Burning through a cigarette
Smoking quickly
Got somebody in my bed
I have somebody in my bed
But I'm still just in my head, in my head
I'm still stuck in my thoughts, in my thoughts
And all the signs are turning red
Everything is starting to look like a warning sign
And I'm starting to regret, and I'm starting to regret
I'm starting to feel remorse
To regret these
Feeling bad about these awful habits
Vices
Destructive habits
I really don't know why I'm like this
I don't understand why I have these habits
And I just don't care what the price is
I don't care about the negative consequences of my actions
'Cause I need these vices (oh)
Because I feel like I need these habits to cope
If it's not drugs it's drinks
If it's not drug addiction, it's alcohol addiction
If it's not drinks it's things
If it's not alcohol addiction, it's materialism
If it's not things it's people
If it's not materialism, it's toxic relationships
Places I don't want to be
Places that make me uncomfortable
These vices
These destructive habits
And I just don't care what the price is
I don't care about the negative consequences of my actions
I'm tryna fill up the silence
I'm trying to escape the silence with these habits
With all these vices (oh)
With all these harmful habits
Lyrics © Songtrust Ave
Written by: Evangeline Miele, Rebecca Kreuger, David James Buris, Jack Jody Laboz, McKenzie Ellis
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@anjenigilliam-salman5844
i really just want to congratulate and compliment you.
I can feel ALL the meaning behind these words and this song. to be able to take hardships and pain to create such talented and meaningful music.....I’m blown away!
i think you are such a beautiful and unique person.....and you have such a talent when it comes to making your music (on your own....with no label too....like WOW!!!)
VICES is such a pure, perfect and intricate song.
i will totally be going back and listening to the rest of the music you’ve made.
lastly....thank you for being on this Earth, sharing your music and baring your soul. you have such raw talent that is AMAZING!!
can’t wait to see what the future has for you!!! (P.S. for sure following you on social media now! & I posted another comment similar to this on another video of yours....but I edited this one to truly say something.)
you are such a wondrous woman and you are so totally are going places! ✨
@ladybuglove430
I have never fallen in love with a song so fast and so hard. You write with this feeling and realness that a lot of artists would KILL for. PLEASE never stop. When this shit is the shit that brings us joy there should never be a reason we stop. I appreciate that you exist <3
@BleedxMexSerene
Agreeee!!!!
@ladybuglove430
@@BleedxMexSerene music is the closest thing we have to magic <3 It brings people together
@cbkCD
SO TRUE
@xdarknessendsx
On replay ♥️♥️♥️
@JustUs-qi2vd
This song is my best friends newest favorite song and I have to admit she got me hooked too :)
@elincoln6388
Kk
@cptlizardpants1103
Same here man
@cierrarussell7154
Same, but it was my manager
@MrDylpickle27
Omg my best friend just sent this to meeee