Growing up in the suburbs of Oklahoma McKenzie was a part of a classical guitar ensemble at an arts-focused public high school. At home, she would write original songs over arpeggios she learned in guitar class and uploaded her original songs and covers on YouTube. She was determined to trade the great plains for a more populated skyline. After receiving a scholarship to Pratt Institute for visual web programming, McKenzie moved to Brooklyn, New York in 2013.
Between classes, McKenzie wrote music as a form of catharsis from rigid school assignments. During the second semester, she showed a classmate some of the songs she had been making and her classmate introduced her to several electronic music producers on Soundcloud, lent her a midi keyboard, and encouraged her to buy a real microphone. Her first released on Soundcloud, ‘Starchild’ (prod. by melodrama) received 100,000 plays in 24 hours.
Mothica is an alter ego that isn’t afraid of honesty even if it means showing weakness. Her distinct raspy yet honey-soaked voice is not one of vocal training, but of heartfelt emotion. Her storytelling writing style and unexpected melodies have set her apart in an music scene that is overrun with sameness. She lends her voice to many genres via collaborations, bringing electronic elements to life with the emotions she shares.
McKenzie desired the skill to produce her own instrumentals, so she learned Ableton and released an entirely self-produced EP called Mythic in 2013. Her somber song about self-empowerment, “No One” reached No. 6 on the US Viral Spotify Charts. The collaboration and record label requests came pouring in but she carefully hand selected her music partners and released the smash "Clear" with Canadian producer Pusher. The song currently sits at 12 million plays on Spotify put her on the radar for everyone from Spotify execs to VSCO to Teen Vogue.
Turning down every record label offer, Mothica remained independent and began performing around New York. She performed her first show solo, and it was completely sold out. She finished up a second solo EP called Heavy Heart about her experience with depression. She continues to grow into her writing style while collaborating with the likes of Tennyson, Crywolf, Said The Sky, and Electric Mantis.
Like her music, Mothica's live show continues to evolve. Playing from coast to coast with several headlining shows, 2017 saw the first iteration of a live music experience for Mothica with three additional band members interpreting lively versions of the songs her fans know best.
She started out 2018 with one million monthly Spotify listeners anticipating the upcoming release of two EP's throughout the calendar year. On Valentine’s Day, she will release her next single, Lovetalk, accompanied by a music video and is planning a late April US tour.
forever fifteen
mothica Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
So I can go
Down to the bar, there's someone waiting
To take me home
I can't take it, all the damage done
Wanna sink into oblivion
Could be anything or anyone
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
Walk down the halls a little slower
So nobody knows
Oh, hold, hold my head a little lower
Just want to let it go
I can't take it, all the damage done
Wanna sink into oblivion
Could be anything or anyone
Anyone at all
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
Ophelia, think I see ya underwater
Ophelia, think I see ya underwater
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
The song "Forever Fifteen" by Mothica seems to be a haunting, yet poignant commentary on adolescent depression, and the dark thoughts and emotions that come along with it. In the first verse, the singer is trying to look older so that she can enter a bar where someone is waiting to take her home. But before she can be alone with this person, she reveals her inner turmoil: the "damage" done to her from presumably past trauma that makes her want to sink into oblivion. The second verse shows the singer wanting to go unnoticed by walking slower and holding her head a little lower. She seems resigned to her fate, questioning whether anyone would miss her if she were gone.
The chorus echoes this sentiment, with the man who brought "ten shots of whiskey" to her bedside saying "Love that you're 15" and assuring her that she'll be alright, but leaving the implication that she needs alcohol to cope. She reveals that she thought no one would miss her when she was 15, so she wrote the ending for herself. The line "too young to be this sad" implies that people often underestimate the level of pain experienced by young people, leading to a feeling of being misunderstood and isolated. The lyric "makes you wanna do something that you can't take back" is particularly chilling, suggesting that suicide may be a temptation for someone struggling with this level of sadness. The theme of being "forever 15" carries throughout the song, suggesting the deep pain and struggle of adolescence that can lead to long-lasting scars.
Line by Line Meaning
Try, try to look a little older
So I can go
Down to the bar, there's someone waiting
To take me home
Mothica's desire to look older to enter a bar where someone waits for her to take her home
I can't take it, all the damage done
Wanna sink into oblivion
Could be anything or anyone
Anyone at all
Mothica's feeling of being unable to endure the consequences of her actions, wanting to disappear completely, and wishing she could be someone else
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
Mothica's recollection of an older man who admired her age and influenced her to drink excessively, leading to her feeling that no one would mourn her death
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
Mothica's response to hearing that her sorrows may be insignificant because of her age, making her act impulsively and potentially hurt herself and pondering if anyone would have actually missed her if she had gone through with it
Walk down the halls a little slower
So nobody knows
Oh, hold, hold my head a little lower
Just want to let it go
Mothica's desire to downplay her turmoil and distract herself from her distress by avoiding attention and hiding her face
Ophelia, think I see ya underwater
Ophelia, think I see ya underwater
Mothica's reference to the Shakespearean character Ophelia who committed suicide by drowning, possibly indicating suicidal thoughts
Contributed by Lillian W. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@3ShotTGK
Story time:
I saw Mothica open for Coheed & Cambria a few months ago and the show was very important to me for a few reasons, but one that really stuck with me was because it was my cousins favorite band and I felt like I owed it to him to see them.
I never knew much or listened to Mothica before the show, and during her set she talks about her battles with depression and her attempted suicide. Hearing this song live and the atmosphere, it brought me back to 2015 when I lost my cousin.
He would be forever 30. How I didn't burst into tears at the show and just collapse was a personal miracle, but it was a message from Mothica that I needed to hear.
I'm nearing the 7 year anniversary of his passing, and I gotta tell myself every time: Be strong for everyone around you. People WILL miss you when you're gone.
To any moths that are still here, just know I'm proud of you and I hope you can continue to fight the fight.
Forever 30, Andrew "AJ" Kirk. Rest in Peace.
@tabitagervers1891
There's nothing
Try, try to look a little older
So I can go
Down to the bar, there's someone waiting
To take me home
I can't take it, all the damage done
Wanna sink into oblivion
Could be anything or anyone
Anyone at al
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
Walk down the halls a little slower
So nobody knows
Oh, hold, hold my head a little lower
Just want to let it go
I can't take it, all the damage done
Wanna sink into oblivion
Could be anything or anyone
Anyone at all
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
Ophelia, think I see ya underwater
Ophelia, think I see ya underwater
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
@hiphillbert
We need to give props to Momica for how beautiful her daughter both was and is.
@TheJunkFairy
Thank you! She’s an amazing daughter and person!
@KaylaKreative
Momica! I love that!
@hailongtran2844
We're referring to Mothica's mother as nothing else from now on
@hunteralexander4596
I'm voting to officially refer to mom as momica. This made my day
@dandylion2775
@@TheJunkFairy 🙃 I'm actually related to MacKenzie too! Nice to meet you, fellow Ellis!
@aubryle7284
“You’re too young to be this sad” and “I thought no one would miss me” hit hard. I too am a survivor. This whole song hit close to home. I’ve had five attempts. Thank you for this song. We love you.
@Crystal-mg1oj
Glad you’re still here, keep going!☺️
@matibarrera8982
i’m so happy ur still here! sending a lot of love hoping ur doing great
@lexikenney7093
Me too. I’m glad we made it.