Kasher has a very close relationship with Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes. They grew up in Nebraska together, went to the same Catholic high school, Creighton Prep. It is rumored that Tim taught Oberst to play guitar. In the Bright Eyes song, "Nothing Gets Crossed Out" Oberst sings, "yeah Tim I heard your album and it's better than good. When you get off tour I think we should hang and black out together." (referring to the album Black Out by The Good Life, released in 2002 on Saddle Creek Records.) Furthermore, Oberst later sang backup on the song "Staying Alive," from Cursive's 2003 effort The Ugly Organ.
Kasher temporarily disbanded Cursive after the departure of guitarist Steve Pedersen (who left to pursue a law degree at Duke University. He now leads the Saddle Creek band Criteria). He married and moved to Portland, Oregon. According to interviews, Kasher went through a bitter divorce in 2000, which led to the regrouping of Cursive, as well as providing the inspiration for The Good Life album Black Out, and Cursive's Domestica.
The Good Life was originally planned to be a solo project. Kasher wanted to experiment with different types of lyrics and melodies. He released Novena on a Nocturn on Better Looking Records. He then recruited Ryan Fox, Roger Lewis and Stephanie Drootin into the band and released Black Out, Lovers Need Lawyers EP and Album of the Year.
Kasher created a another record with Cursive which was released in August 2006, entitled Happy Hollow. In 2009, Cursive released their latest effort, 'Mama, I'm Swollen'. The Good Life, despite a near breakup in late 2005, returned to the studio to release the album, 'Help Wanted Nights' in September 2007.
Under his own name, Tim Kasher recorded a song called "Stranger Than Strangers" which was released on a compilation CD called "My Favorite Songwriters." He released the solo album 'The Game of Monogamy' in 2010, and a follow-up disc of songs from that session called 'Bigamy', in 2011.
Cold Love
Tim Kasher Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
The years of bags we can't begin to unpack.
I thought that we were different,
We swore we'd never cave
To these suburban doldrums-
The zeitgeist of our age.
And there's no more charity-
Yeah, we both stopped servicing-
But we're definitely missionary:
Our official position.
Maybe we're getting older,
Maybe our hearts are beating slower...
Or, maybe we got tired of the same old dessert,
We grew up in a world of thirty-one flavors.
Maybe we're just tired of this vanilla existence.
Cold love is all that we know
Cold love, no words, no emotion.
Cold love - don't look me in the eye.
Cold love; clean up, kill the lights.
Maybe you've gotten sick of it,
Or, maybe I'm just inadequate.
Or, maybe this is stupid - yeah,
Maybe we're just chumps
Riding this horse and buggy of
Antiquated love. We don't know
Where it's taking us, but we don't
Know where we wanna go, so we
Hold on and hope for happiness.
We hold on so we're not alone.
The sheltered life of a couple,
It's like living inside a bubble...
And, god forbid, Cupid ever finish
What he started. Instead, he left us
Stranded and broken-hearted.
One more shot of Cupid's
Dart, this bubble could have popped.
Instead-
Cold love is all that we know.
Cold love, no warmth, no devotion.
Cold love - it only takes a few minutes.
Cold love; let me know when you're finished.
Tim Kasher's "Cold Love" is a song about the emotional distance that can grow between two people in a relationship. The opening lines say, "It's too much - there's too much between us- The years of bags we can't begin to unpack." This suggests that the couple has been together for a long time and has accumulated a lot of emotional baggage that they can't solve.
The song explores the idea that the couple might be growing apart because they're tired of the same old routines and experiences. It says, "Maybe we're just tired of this vanilla existence." It also touches on the fact that the couple has stopped being generous with each other, saying "there's no more charity- Yeah, we both stopped servicing- But we're definitely missionary: Our official position." This line suggests that while they may still be physically intimate, they're not emotionally open with each other.
The chorus "Cold love is all that we know" repeats and emphasizes the idea that the relationship has lost its warmth and intimacy. The final lines, "Cold love; let me know when you're finished" imply that the act of being intimate has become perfunctory and joyless.
Overall, the song is a frank exploration of a couple's disconnection and their struggle to stay together. It suggests that they may not know how to change the trajectory of their relationship, but they're unwilling to let go completely.
Line by Line Meaning
It's too much - there's too much between us-
Our relationship is overburdened with unresolved issues and emotional baggage, and it’s becoming too much to bear.
The years of bags we can't begin to unpack.
We have accumulated too much emotional baggage over the years in our relationship, which seems too complex, difficult and time-consuming to resolve.
I thought that we were different,
In the past, we believed that we stood apart from everyone else and were unique in our feelings, motivations, and way of life.
We swore we'd never cave
We had vowed to ourselves that we wouldn't compromise on our principles and values, or let significant others change us for the worse.
To these suburban doldrums-
Our existence is turning monotonous, boring and predictable, just like the domestic life and neighborhoods of most people, and that's affecting our relationship.
The zeitgeist of our age.
Our lives are influenced by the prevailing cultural, social, and political trends of our generation, which is imposing significant pressure on us and taking a toll on our relationship.
And there's no more charity-
There's no mutual understanding, helping or supporting each other in the relationship anymore.
Yeah, we both stopped servicing-
We seem to have lost physical or emotional attraction towards each other and aren't exploring ways to reignite that spark.
But we're definitely missionary:
We're performing sexual acts with each other without engaging emotionally with the other person or seeking any pleasure from it.
Our official position.
Our regular way of doing things, without any twists, turns, or personalization, even in our sexual encounters.
Maybe we're getting older,
The natural process of aging is changing us, our priorities, preferences, and capabilities, which is affecting our relationship.
Maybe our hearts are beating slower...
We're losing passion and excitement towards each other, and the feelings of love, affection, and romance are fading away.
Or, maybe we got tired of the same old dessert,
We're being fed up with the same routine, predictable, and monotonous life we are living together and not experiencing anything new and exciting that can ignite our interest and desire.
We grew up in a world of thirty-one flavors.
We experienced and explored much of life before settling down, making our lives dull compared to our youthful freedom and adventures.
Maybe we're just tired of this vanilla existence.
We're bored and disappointed with our ordinary, traditional, and predictable way of life, and that's made us tired of each other's company.
Cold love is all that we know
Our relationship has lost warmth, affection, or empathy, and now only cold love, devoid of feelings or emotions, remains between us
Cold love, no words, no emotion.
Our communication is limited or absent, and there are no visible signs of love, care, or intimacy between us.
Cold love - don't look me in the eye.
We're unwilling or unable to look into each other's eyes, as that would reveal our true emotions and feelings towards each other, which are cold and aloof.
Cold love; clean up, kill the lights.
Our sexual encounters have become mechanical, emotionless, and lacking passion, so we do it without affection or human connection by killing the lights, which is just another example of our 'cold love'.
Maybe you've gotten sick of it,
You might not be happy with the relationship anymore, either because of the way I'm behaving, or because you have changed, or developed a different outlook on life.
Or, maybe I'm just inadequate.
It's possible that I'm not meeting your expectations and needs as a life partner, whether it's emotionally, sexually, or in any other way.
Or, maybe this is stupid - yeah,
It's possible that what we're doing and how we're behaving towards each other is irrational and fruitless, and there's no point in continuing with it.
Maybe we're just chumps
Perhaps, we're easy targets or victims of our circumstances, uninformed or unaware of our situation, and can't escape from it.
Riding this horse and buggy of antiquated love.
Our traditional, outdated or stale way of love, which is full of emotional baggage and lack of passion, is like riding a slow-moving vehicle that shuns change or movement.
We don't know where it's taking us, but we don't
We're not sure what the future of our relationship is if it's going to improve or end, but we don't want to change anything now or do anything about it.
Know where we wanna go, so we
We don't have an objective in the relationship or a common goal, so we're just going with the flow, hoping for happiness without doing anything about it.
Hold on and hope for happiness.
We're hoping for happiness and contentment to come to us without making any effort to achieve it.
We hold on so we're not alone.
We're not willing to let go of each other, even though we're not happy together, because we're afraid to be alone or to start over.
The sheltered life of a couple,
We live a closed, hidden, and private life as a couple, pretending that everything is okay, even though it's not, without seeking help or support from anyone.
It's like living inside a bubble...
We're living in our own world, detached from the rest of the world, insulated from its dynamic, harsh and challenging environment.
And, god forbid, Cupid ever finish
If we had any hope or expectations from love, it has now turned into something unpleasant, sad, and divisive, and we blame Cupid or the idea of love for it.
What he started. Instead, he left us
Love or Cupid might have set us up initially, but it didn't take care of us, and now we're alone and disconnected without love or affection.
Stranded and broken-hearted.
Our relationship is weak, unfulfilling, and gloomy, and it makes us feel alone, sad, and separated from society.
One more shot of Cupid's,
Even though Cupid or the idea of love has hurt us and damaged the relationship, we're still willing to give it another chance, hoping that it could work this time.
Dart, this bubble could have popped.
Love, care or affection might seem unrealistic or foreign to us because of our experience, but if we tried to believe in those things, we might be able to break free from our closed, unhealthy relationship.
Instead-
Despite being open to change or improvement in our relationship, we continue our current lifestyle, routine, and relationship, even though it's not making us happy or fulfilled.
Contributed by Emily C. Suggest a correction in the comments below.