12.Genius In France
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
I lack intelligence or wit

Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
People often comment on my lack of intelligence

I barely even know how to put on my own pants
I struggle with basic tasks or skills

But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France
Contrary to popular belief, I am recognized as exceptionally talented or intelligent in France

I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I am not particularly intelligent

I got a negative number on my SATs
I scored poorly on an important test

I'm not good looking and I don't know how to dance
I lack physical attractiveness and the ability to dance

But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be
However, despite these shortcomings, many people still regard me as

A genius in France, a genius in France, a genius in France
An exceptionally talented or intelligent individual in France

People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak
Others perceive me as a socially awkward and unintelligent individual

An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
I am viewed as an irritating and physically unattractive person

If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week
My lack of intelligence is so extreme that it would require extra care to sustain me

But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek
However, when the French women catch sight of me, they are captivated and show great enthusiasm

They dig my mystique, they say I'm see'est magnifique
They are intrigued by my aura and describe me as incredibly magnificent

When I'm in Par-ee, I'm the chic-est of the chic
While in Paris, I am considered the epitome of style

They love my body odor and my bad toupee
They find my body scent and poorly-fitted wig endearing

They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret
They have an affinity for my striped shirt and foolish-looking beret

And when I'm sipping on a Perrier
While enjoying a Perrier drink

In some cafe town in St. Tropez
Within a small town cafe in St. Tropez

It's hard to keep the fans at bay
It is challenging to keep the enthusiastic supporters at a distance

They say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait"
They request a signature on their poodle, if you please

Hemenene humenene himenene homenene Poodle... poodle
Uttering nonsense syllables or sounds, possibly mimicking the excitement of the fans

Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool
The people in my hometown view me as a foolish individual

Got too much chlorine in my gene pool
My family genetics are perceived to be lacking in intelligence or common sense

A few peas short of a casserole
I am mentally deficient or unintelligent

A few buttons missing on my remote control
I exhibit a lack of mental functions or control

A few fries short of a happy meal
I lack intelligence or mental capacity

I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Even if given explicit directions, I am incapable of performing simple tasks

But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants
However, when I am in Provence, I receive complimentary croissants

Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants
I am the man that every French woman desires

And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response
If you inquire about the reason, you will likely receive the following answer

(He's a genius in France! Genius in France!)
(He is an exceptionally talented or intelligent individual in France!)

That's right
Indeed

(He's a genius in France, genius in France)
(He is an exceptionally talented or intelligent individual in France)

You know it
You are aware of it

(He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France)
(He is an exceptionally talented or intelligent individual in France)

I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
I am not very intelligent or perceptive

But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree
However, the people in France have a different opinion

They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me?"
They enthusiastically request to take a photograph with me saying, "Hello, would you take a picture with me, sir?"

I say, "Oui, oui"
I reply, "Yes, yes"

That's right, I say, "Oui, oui"
Indeed, I say, "Yes, yes"

"Oui, oui"
"Yes, yes"

I'm dumber than a box of hair
I lack intelligence or common sense

But those Frenchies don't seem to care
However, the French people do not mind or take notice of it

Don't know why, mon frere
I do not understand the reason, my brother

But they love me there
Nevertheless, they have great affection for me in France

Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes
I will create a significant impact or impression upon arriving in Cannes

Gonna make those Frenchies scream
I will elicit enthusiastic responses from the French people

"You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!"
"You are the man! You are the man! You are the man!"

Like a fine Renoir (waa), I've got that je ne see'est quoi (quoi!)
Similar to a masterpiece by Renoir, I possess an indescribable quality or charm

Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la), I've got that je ne see'est ...
Comparable to a beautiful artwork by Renoir, I possess that indescribable...

Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo
Uttering nonsensical syllables or sounds, possibly indicating excitement or pleasure

Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo
Uttering nonsensical syllables or sounds, possibly indicating excitement or pleasure

Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Uttering nonsense syllables or sounds

Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Uttering nonsense syllables or sounds

Bow
Uttering a nonsensical sound

I'm a taco short of a combo plate
I lack intelligence or mental abilities

But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great
However, due to a fortunate turn of events, all the French people think highly of me

Oh, the men all faint and the women scream
The men become overwhelmed and the women express their enthusiasm loudly

They like me more than heavy cream
They have a greater fondness for me than for a rich cream

When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy
When I am in Versailles, I am highly regarded and well-liked

My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie (apple pie)
I am as quintessentially French as the popular American dessert

They think I'm awfully witty, a riot and a half
They believe I am incredibly clever and amusing

When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh (haw haw haw haw haw)
Even when I share a foolish joke, they find it hilarious

And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw)
They continue to laugh heartily

People in France have lots of attitude
The people in France possess a strong sense of self-importance or a certain demeanor

They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food
They are arrogant and impolite, and they have a taste for unpleasant or unappealing cuisine

But when they see me, they just come unglued
However, when they catch sight of me, they become extremely excited or enthusiastic

They think that I am one happening dude
They perceive me as a very trendy or exciting person

Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm
Uttering nonsensical syllables or sounds

I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball
I lack intelligence or wit

But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle
But they prefer me over Charles de Gaulle, a famous French statesman

Entre nous, it's very true
Between us, it is indeed true

The room temperature's higher than my IQ
The temperature in the room is higher than my level of intelligence

But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu
However, they have an even greater affection for me than for Gerard Depardieu, a well-known French actor

How did this happen; I don't have a clue
I am baffled as to how this situation came about

Well, I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm
I am not particularly fast or intelligent

I don't have any skills or grace or charm
I lack any noteworthy abilities, elegance, or charisma

And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants
Most people regard me with disdain or contempt

But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France
Yet, despite these negative perceptions, I am highly regarded as a genius in France

And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back
Furthermore, I have no intention of returning to my previous situation

I'm never never never never goin' back home again
I am determined to never return to my hometown again

I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket
I am ripping apart my ticket for my return flight

Gonna tell the folks back here where they can stick it
I will express my strong disapproval or rejection to the people back home

'Cause I'm never goin' back
Because I have committed to never returning

The girls back home never gave me a chance
The girls in my hometown never granted me an opportunity

But I sho' 'nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance
However, I have absolutely captivated the French people

And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance
I acknowledge that this is an incredibly unlikely situation

But "Great Googily Moogily!", I'm a genius in France
But with great surprise and excitement, I am considered an intellectual or creative mastermind in France

Every Frenchie that I meet
Each French person that I encounter

Just can't wait to kiss my feet
Is eager to show their admiration and respect for me

Get in line, pucker up! Tout Suite!
They form a queue and prepare to kiss my feet quickly and enthusiastically

Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy
Uttering nonsense syllables or sounds

I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour
My fame and popularity are increasing rapidly

I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power
I am indulging in pastries and feeling intoxicated by my own success and influence

Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower
Now they are erecting a statue of me near the Eiffel Tower

A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
Adjust the positioning slightly to the left, gentlemen

A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
Adjust the positioning slightly to the left, gentlemen

I'm the biggest dork there is alive
I am the ultimate nerd or socially awkward individual

My mom picked out my clothes for me 'till I was 35
My mother continued to choose my outfits until I reached the age of 35

And I forgot to mention
And I neglected to mention earlier

I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention
I am not invited or accepted at the Star Trek gathering or event

But the Frenchies think
However, the French people believe

That my poop don't stink
That I am flawless or incapable of making mistakes

I'm a genius in France
I am regarded as an exceptionally intelligent individual in France

Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon?
By the way, could you please hand me the Grey Poupon mustard?

Merci beaucoup
Thank you very much