Rocky XIII Theme
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics

Fat and weak, what a disgrace
The former champion boxer has lost his strength and gained weight, and this is a shame.

Guess the champ got too lazy
It seems that the champ has become lethargic and unmotivated.

Ain't gonna fly now he's just takin' up space
The boxer's career has come to an end, and he's no longer achieving much.

Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain
He gave up boxing and threw away his opportunity to succeed.

But he's no bum, he works down the street
Despite the boxer's fall from grace, he still has a job in the neighborhood.

He bought the neighborhood deli
He now owns and runs a small business in the community.

Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat
He has recovered from his past failures and is now successfully operating the deli.

Come inside maybe you'll hear him say
Perhaps if you go into the deli, you might hear him speak.

Try the rye or the kaiser they're our special tonight
Tonight, the deli's featured items are rye or kaiser bread, and you should try them.

If you want you can have an appetizer
If you choose, you could start with a small dish before your main course.

You might like our salami and the liver's all right
You might enjoy the salami, and the liver is decent as well.

And they'd really go well with the rye or the kaiser
These items would pair nicely with the featured bread choices.

Never eats while on the job
He doesn't eat while working in the deli.

He heard it's good to stay hungry
He believes that being hungry is beneficial in some way.

But he makes a pretty mean shishkabob
Despite not eating while working, he is skilled at making shishkabobs.

Have a taste they were made fresh today
The shishkabobs were freshly made, and you should try them.

Try the rye or the kaiser or the wheat or the white
You could try any of their varieties of bread: rye, kaiser, wheat or white.

Maybe I can suggest an appetizer
Perhaps he can recommend an appetizer for you.

Stay away from the tuna it smells funny tonight
He advises that you not choose the tuna tonight because it seems off.

But you just can't go wrong with the rye or the kaiser
You can't make a bad choice with one of their featured bread options.

So today, his deli comes first
The deli is now the boxer's top priority in life.

Still he dreams of his past days of glory
Despite his success with the deli, he still thinks back wistfully to his boxing career.

Goes in the back and beats up on the liverwurst
He has moments of frustration where he takes out his aggression on the liverwurst.

All the while you can still hear him say
Even while running the deli and reminiscing about his past, you can still hear him speaking to customers.

It's the rye or the kaiser, it's the thrill of one bite
The bread options are exciting and satisfying to eat.

Let me please be your catering advisor
He offers himself as a helpful guide for your food selections.

If you want substitutions I won't put up a fight
If you want to make any changes to your food order, he won't object.

You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser
You can choose to have your roast beef on either the rye or kaiser bread.

The rye or the kaiser
The featured bread options are the highlight of the deli, and should be considered.

The rye or the kaiser
The rye or the kaiser breads are still the featured items, and the deli owner wants to emphasize that.

The rye or the kaiser
One more time, he stresses the importance of the deli's featured bread options.