Bigger on the Inside
Amanda Palmer Lyrics

You'd think I'd shot their children
People's reaction and criticism towards me make it seem like I've committed a great wrongdoing or hurt them deeply.

From the way that they are talking
The way they express their disapproval and judgment through their words is intense and exaggerated.

And there's no point in responding
Engaging in a debate or argument with them won't lead to any resolution or change in their behavior.

'Cause it will not make them stop
Their negative opinions and expressions will persist regardless of any response or explanation from my side.

And I am tired of explaining
I've grown weary of having to justify myself and my actions repeatedly.

And of seeing so much hating
The abundance of hatred and animosity that I encounter is emotionally draining and disheartening.

In the very same safe haven
In the place where I used to feel secure and supported.

Where I used to just see helping
Where I once only witnessed kindness and assistance.

I've been drunk and skipping dinner
I've indulged in alcohol excessively and neglected to eat meals.

Eating skin from off my fingers
Engaging in self-destructive behavior, such as biting my own fingers.

And I tried to call my brother
I made an attempt to contact my brother.

But he no longer exists
Sadly, he has passed away or is no longer a part of my life.

I keep forgetting to remember
I continually fail to recall.

That he would have been much prouder
He would have experienced a great sense of pride.

If he saw me shake these insults off
If he witnessed me successfully disregarding and not letting these insults affect me.

Instead of getting bitter
Rather than becoming resentful or filled with anger.

I am bigger on the inside
There is more depth and strength within me than what is visible on the surface.

But you have to come inside to see me
To truly understand and appreciate my true self, you need to take the time to get to know me personally.

Otherwise you're only hating
If you judge or criticize me based solely on outward appearances or hearsay, you are only expressing hate.

Other people's low-res copies
The impression of me that others have created is a distorted and incomplete representation.

You'd think I'd learn my lesson
One might assume that I would gain insight or understanding from past experiences.

From the way they keep on testing
Due to their continuous actions that challenge or provoke me.

My capacity for pain
My ability to endure emotional or psychological suffering.

And my resolve to not get violent
And my determination to refrain from responding with aggression or physical harm.

But though my skin is thickened
Despite the fact that I have developed a certain level of emotional resilience and strength.

Certain spots can still be gotten
There are certain vulnerable areas or aspects of me that can still be deeply affected.

It is typically human of me
This aspect or behavior is characteristic of being human.

Thinking I am different
Believing that I possess qualities or experiences that set me apart or make me unique.

To friends hooked up to hospital machines
Referring to my friends who are connected to medical devices and equipment in the hospital.

To fix their cancer
In an attempt to treat or cure their cancer.

And there is no better place than from this
In this situation or location, there is no more opportune moment than now.

Waiting room to answer
The waiting room provides a space for me to respond and provide support.

The French kid who sent an email
Referring to a young person from France who reached out to me via email.

To the website late last night
They visited my website and contacted me during the late hours of the night.

His father raped him and he's scared
The individual shared a deeply traumatic experience of being sexually assaulted by their own father, leaving them fearful and traumatized.

He asked me "How do you keep fighting?"
They sought my advice or perspective on how to continue finding the strength to persevere in the face of adversity.

And the truth is I don't know
In all honesty, I am unsure or unaware of the answer to their question.

I think it's funny that he asked me
I find it ironic or amusing that they turned to me for guidance or support.

Cause I don't feel like a fighter lately
Because recently, I haven't felt like someone who possesses the qualities of resilience and determination typically associated with a fighter.

I am too unhappy
My current emotional state of unhappiness or discontentment prevents me from embodying the persona of a fighter.

You are bigger on the inside
You have vast depth and strength within yourself.

But your father cannot see
However, your father fails to recognize or acknowledge these qualities within you.

You need to tell someone
It is important for you to confide in and seek help from someone you trust.

Be strong
Remain resilient and steadfast in the face of adversity.

And somewhere some dumb rock star truly loves you
There is a place where a foolish but genuine musician deeply cares for and loves you.

You'd think I'd get perspective
One might expect that I would gain a broader understanding or viewpoint.

From my view here by the bedside
Given my current position and proximity to the sick or dying person's bed.

It is difficult to see the ones I love
It proves challenging to witness the suffering and deterioration of my loved ones.

So close to death
As they are on the brink of passing away.

All their infections and proscriptions
Their various infections and medical prescriptions.

And the will to live at all in question
Their desire and determination to continue living is uncertain and in doubt.

Can I not accept that my own problems
Am I unable to acknowledge that my own issues and challenges.

Are so small?
Are comparatively insignificant or trivial?

You took my hand when you woke up
When you regained consciousness, you reached out and held my hand.

I had been crying in the darkness
Prior to that moment, I had been experiencing sadness or despair in isolation or obscurity.

We all die alone but I am so, so glad
Despite the fact that everyone ultimately faces death individually, I am incredibly grateful.

That you are here
For your presence and support in my life.

You whispered
You spoke softly and intimately.

"We are so much bigger on the inside
We possess immense depth and strength within ourselves.

You, me, everybody
This applies to both of us and extends to each and every individual.

Some day when you're lying where I am
In the future, when you are in my current position, facing mortality.

You'll finally get it, beauty
You will come to understand and comprehend the profound truth and beauty in this realization.

We are so much bigger
Human beings possess immeasurable depth and capacity.

Than another one can ever see
That exceeds the discernment or perception of others.

But
However.

Trying is the point of life
The essence and purpose of life lies in making an effort and striving.

So don't stop trying
Therefore, it is vital to continue exerting effort and not give up.

Promise me"
Make a commitment or assurance to me.