With 2016’s Wishlist EP – recorded to tape at the apartment of band mate Ty Ueda – Lina proved an ability to craft simple, introspective and succinct songs, each one a pulsing glow leaving you both hollow and whole, alone but never lonely. It is on Lina’s debut album Won that we reap the full rewards of this newfound confidence in expression and rejection of internal hesitation. “The writing doesn’t necessarily get easier, but I feel more comfortable tapping into emotions and going to those places that need to be written about. Won, as it turned out, is the product that I have been hearing and picturing in my head as I write and listen to music.” It is the product of what happens when you push past the fear of what it means to think out loud – to become accountable for your internal struggles by way of manifesting your ideas into songs that are then free to grow apart from you, to exist on their own while always remaining specifically implicative of you. Now backed by a full band, each track manages to remain piercingly intimate, sometimes brief, and always honest, while gaining a wholly new sense of gestation both sonically and lyrically.
“I am all the wiser now that I accept my fate”.
It’s clear throughout that Lina’s awareness of their internal shift is folded into every corner of these songs. The move towards working with a full band, the deliberate force with which their often quaveringly raw vocals are delivered, and the lyrics themselves are all constantly functioning to process and take stock of an updated self. Which is not to say this is an album of concise reflections or black-and-white conclusions. The darkly punctuated “Summer Sleeper” rolls in with one of the more concrete claims Lina presents us with. "On letting go: it's only as good as you want it to be, only as bad as you make it." This is an album insistent on the consideration of perspective above all else.
The album art, a reference to the historical practice of photographing ectoplasm expulsion, acts as a visual representation of the internal changes and newly gained perspectives precipitated by the writing and recording of this debut album. “Writing this record was a lot of looking inward at myself with close eyes. Figuring out what I had to get rid of and what I had to keep. I like the idea of an ectoplasm being something you’re expelling. That you’re getting rid of because it shouldn’t be inside you anymore.”
And at a certain point, growth is not just a process of replacing old selves with new, but often simply an act of expansion. Won in many ways continues to dig through Lina’s preoccupation with the search for home. It’s a deceptively loaded search sewn gracefully into the haunting and sparse track “Face Off." Whatever "home" means - a relationship, a physical space, a mentality, or an emotion - that’s up to the listener. As Lina puts it, “It’s a record for me, but it’s also for everyone else. I don’t claim to be totally emotionally stable, or smart in relationships, or always very conscientious of others, but this record is me reaching out and trying and maybe sometimes I lose but sometimes I win.”
Wash
Lina tullgren Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
for all the hearts i've won
for the hearts I've lost
I'll burn 'em down
and I apologized
about a million times
I know you love to hear yourself talking
I could lay it down
and spell it out for you
you could listen but you won't comprehend
ask me questions now
and we could be comrades
I'll tell you all the things I said to him
and I could try and wash you away
but I know what you might say
I miss some straight lines
under cold blue stars
I could meet you now
and let you know I'm done playing tough
and I'm on a crooked line
I didn't want to say goodnight
I'm on a crooked line
but don't you know that it's just fine?
and I could try and wash you away
but I know what you might say
I don't miss some straight lines
The lyrics of Lina Tullgren's song "Wash" are full of raw emotion and self-reflection. The song revolves around the central character's apology to God, admitting for all the victories and defeats in her love life. Starting with the confession, "well, I'm sorry, God, for all the hearts I've won, for the hearts I've lost, I'll burn 'em down" the song takes you on a journey of self-exploration.
The lyrics reveal a deep sense of guilt and shame, and the singer is acutely aware of her sins. She repeats, "I've apologized about a million times, I know you love to hear yourself talking," suggesting that she wants to confess her wrongdoings and ask for forgiveness but feels unheard. The chorus, "and I could try and wash you away, but I know what you might say, I don't miss some straight lines," encapsulates the self-doubt and confusion that the singer is experiencing.
Tullgren's lyrics are evocative and poetic, and the song's instrumentation perfectly complements its introspective mood. The acoustic guitar and soft drumming bring a sense of calm and peacefulness to the track. This, combined with the heartfelt lyrics, gives "Wash" a profoundly intimate and vulnerable feel.
Line by Line Meaning
well I'm sorry god
Apologizing to a higher power for causing both love and pain
for all the hearts i've won
Expressing remorse for having hurt or used people
for the hearts I've lost
Feeling apologetic for being responsible for the pain of those she has left/flirted with
I'll burn 'em down
Destroying memories of them to let go of the past and start fresh
and I apologized
Continuing to seek forgiveness for past mistakes and regrets
about a million times
Acknowledging the repetitiveness of her past apologies
I know you love to hear yourself talking
Addressing a possibly narcissistic or self-centered entity
I could lay it down
Offering to be transparent and honest about past actions and feelings
and spell it out for you
Being explicit and clear with explanations and answers
you could listen but you won't comprehend
Feeling like her apologies and explanations won't be accepted, heard, or understood
ask me questions now
Encouraging conversation and openness
and we could be comrades
Suggesting that by understanding each other, they could be on the same side
I'll tell you all the things I said to him
Sharing details of a past relationship
and I could try and wash you away
Attempting to forget or move on from past pains or regrets
but I know what you might say
Anticipating an unhelpful or hurtful response
I miss some straight lines
Feeling lost and uncertain
under cold blue stars
Painting a picture of a cold, dark night
I could meet you now
Leaving the option of connection and reconciliation open
and let you know I'm done playing tough
Being vulnerable and dropping the facade of strength
and I'm on a crooked line
Admitting that her path may not be the straightest or easiest
I didn't want to say goodnight
Expressing a reluctance to end things
but don't you know that it's just fine?
Trying to convince herself and others that everything will be okay
and I could try and wash you away
Revisiting the idea of trying to forget or move on
but I know what you might say
Still expecting the same potentially unhelpful response
I don't miss some straight lines
Realizing that life doesn't always go as planned or as wished
Contributed by Bailey D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.