Otep have since released six full-length albums featuring many session musicians including Greg Wells, Joey Jordison of Slipknot, Koichi Fukuda of Static-X, Emilie Autumn, Tony Campos of Soulfly and Asesino (ex-Static-X), and Ulrich Wild. Their first three albums, Sevas Tra, House of Secrets, and The Ascension, were released on Capitol Records. However, after the label's merging with Virgin Records, Otep, along with many other bands, were released from their contracts with Capitol in 2007. Two years later, Otep signed with Victory Records and released their fourth album, Smash the Control Machine, which included a reunion with former members Mark "Moke" Bistany on drums and Rob Patterson on guitar. The album also featured Koichi Fukuda on piano and Emilie Autumn on violin.
Atavist was the first album not to feature longtime bassist Jason "eViL J" McGuire who left the band on September 30, 2010, the personnel consisted of session musicians Rani Sharone, Gil Sharone, Tony Campos, Collyn McCoy, Ulrich Wild, and Markus Estrada. On the tour supporting the album, her band consisted of support musicians courtesy of the supporting band and labelmates on the tour, Destrophy. The band is now mainly Otep Shamaya.
In 2011, Otep toured as a supporting act along with Earth Crisis for Cavalera Conspiracy. She also wrote and released a new book of poems titled "New Word Order" in December 2011.
In 2013, Otep released her sixth studio album titled Hydra on January 22 through Victory Records.
Self
Otep Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
..no..
FIND THE DEFECT
THE REASON,
THE SOURCE OF ALL THIS MISERY
-- AND EXTRACT IT ... FOREVER.
WHAT HEALS ME - KILLS ME!
[verse]
I'M A NATURAL ASSASSIN
A MASSACRE IN ACTION
I'VE NEVER KNOWN REMORSE
OR FELT ANY COMPASSION
THIS IS MY DRUG OF CHOICE
THE REASON DEMONS REJOICE
MY RAGE REMAINS
A BEAST UNTAMED
... I BET YOU'LL REMEMBER ME NOW.
GLUTTON!
I AM HEARTBREAK & DEPRESSION
REGRET WITHOUT REDEMPTION
A WOUNDED ANIMAL
AFRAID OF MY REFLECTION
I AM AN EPIDEMIC
THIS IS A CRIME OF PASSION
THE WILLING WEAK DESERVE DEFEAT
THE PENANCE WILL BE SAVAGE!
... I BET YOU'LL REMEMBER ME NOW.
... I BET YOU'LL REMEMBER ME NOW.
[bridge]
BI-POLAR
SELF-ABORTION
MIND FUCK
CAN'T ESCAPE
THESE CHAINS
OF SHAME
I'M STUCK!!
SWOLLEN IN THE MUD
BARELY STANDING STILL
HUNGRY FOR THE HUNT
& THE THRILL OF THE KILL!!
See O M E O N ! !
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A SHADOW
CONTENT WITH MY DISEASE
- YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING
'cause YOU NEVER NOTICE ME
... UNLOAD!!
WORDS ARE THE REMEDY
WORDS ARE THE REMEDY
WHAT HEALS ME, KILLS ME.
WHAT HEALS ME, KILLS ME.
HEAL ME, KILL ME
HEAL ME, KILL ME
THE PLAGUE RAGES ON.
[outro]
I've built myself out of ash & agony, I am ready ....
I ... AM ... I
I AM MY
OWN CREATION
I AM
SELF-MADE
I AM MY
OWN CREATION
I AM
SELF-MADE
DESTROYERS!
I AM I!
A BONE HEALS,
A BRUISE FADES,
BUT ART IS FOREVER.
The lyrics to Otep's song "Self-Made" describe the complexities of an individual's personal struggles with mental health, addiction, and their own identity. The opening lines invoke a sense of urgency and determination to identify the root cause of the pain and extract it with finality, represented by the all-caps typography. The chorus ("I bet you'll remember me now") suggests a desire for recognition and perhaps vengeance for past wrongs.
The first verse paints a picture of the singer as a "natural assassin" who is unaffected by remorse or compassion, indicating a dissociative, perhaps sociopathic or psychopathic tendency. This detachment is juxtaposed with the later description of the singer as a "wounded animal afraid of my reflection", highlighting a more vulnerable, self-aware side of their persona. The recurring theme of self-destruction is evident throughout the song, referring to addiction as a "drug of choice" and using the lines "what heals me, kills me" and "heal me, kill me" to underscore the paradox.
The bridge injects some specific terminology associated with mental illness, including "bi-polar," "self-abortion," and "mind fuck." These phrases help to ground the abstract concepts with a medical connotation, emphasizing the daily struggles faced by those with mental health disorders. The final lines of the song draw a parallel between physical injuries that eventually heal and the enduring nature of art, suggesting that the deep-seated personal experiences explored in the lyrics of "Self-Made" will also persist in some tangible form.
Line by Line Meaning
..no..
The singer is refusing to acknowledge something
FIND THE DEFECT
THE REASON,
THE SOURCE OF ALL THIS MISERY
-- AND EXTRACT IT ... FOREVER.
The singer is requesting to find the root cause of a problem that is causing misery and remove it permanently
WHAT HEALS ME - KILLS ME!
The things that make the singer feel good are actually harmful to them in the long run
I'M A NATURAL ASSASSIN
A MASSACRE IN ACTION
I'VE NEVER KNOWN REMORSE
OR FELT ANY COMPASSION
THIS IS MY DRUG OF CHOICE
THE REASON DEMONS REJOICE
MY RAGE REMAINS
A BEAST UNTAMED
... I BET YOU'LL REMEMBER ME NOW.
GLUTTON!
The artist is describing themself as a violent and unremorseful individual who revels in their own anger and negative emotions. They are challenging someone to not forget about their actions
I AM HEARTBREAK & DEPRESSION
REGRET WITHOUT REDEMPTION
A WOUNDED ANIMAL
AFRAID OF MY REFLECTION
I AM AN EPIDEMIC
THIS IS A CRIME OF PASSION
THE WILLING WEAK DESERVE DEFEAT
THE PENANCE WILL BE SAVAGE!
... I BET YOU'LL REMEMBER ME NOW.
... I BET YOU'LL REMEMBER ME NOW.
The artist is consumed by negative emotions like heartbreak, depression, and regret, and sees themself as a victim of their own flaws. They insist that someone will remember their actions
BI-POLAR
SELF-ABORTION
MIND FUCK
CAN'T ESCAPE
THESE CHAINS
OF SHAME
I'M STUCK!!
SWOLLEN IN THE MUD
BARELY STANDING STILL
HUNGRY FOR THE HUNT
& THE THRILL OF THE KILL!!
See O M E O N ! !
The singer is struggling with mental health and feeling trapped in a negative situation. They long for the excitement of violence and challenge someone to face them
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A SHADOW
CONTENT WITH MY DISEASE
- YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING
'cause YOU NEVER NOTICE ME
... UNLOAD!!
The singer feels ignored and unseen, but they are confident in their own destructive abilities
WORDS ARE THE REMEDY
WORDS ARE THE REMEDY
WHAT HEALS ME, KILLS ME.
WHAT HEALS ME, KILLS ME.
HEAL ME, KILL ME
HEAL ME, KILL ME
The artist believes that words have healing properties, but they also have the power to hurt. They see a connection between things that make them feel better and things that are ultimately harmful
THE PLAGUE RAGES ON.
The problem being described is ongoing and worsening
I've built myself out of ash & agony, I am ready ....
I ... AM ... I
I AM MY
OWN CREATION
I AM
SELF-MADE
I AM MY
OWN CREATION
I AM
SELF-MADE
DESTROYERS!
I AM I!
A BONE HEALS,
A BRUISE FADES,
BUT ART IS FOREVER.
The artist is proud of who they have become, even if it was born out of pain and hardship. They embrace their own identity and see themselves as a creative force that will last even beyond physical harm
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: GREG WELLS, OTEP SHAMAYA
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind