JOHNNY
BROCKHAMPTON Lyrics

When I imagine myself on acid
When I envision myself on drugs

I take step backwards and find those to lap itself
I retreat and seek out familiar patterns

Even dance a pound around my silent thoughts who had the crown
I distract myself from my dominating and overwhelming inner thoughts

Don't-don't-don't-don't let life pass yourself
Don't let life slip away from you

I could've got a job at McDonald's, but I like curly fries
I could've settled for less, but I prefer what I truly like

That's a metaphor for my life, and I like taller guys
That's an analogy for my life and my preferences

Could've got a deal if I wanted, but I like owning shit
I could've signed a contract for quick success, but I prefer to have ownership over what I create

And I like making shit, and I like selling it
I enjoy creating things and selling them

Could've peaked when I was in high school but I had bigger plans
I could have reached my peak in high school, but I had greater aspirations

Could've took the time out to find you but you ain't understand
I could have made the effort to locate you, but you never comprehended my perspective

You gotta leave for them to define you
You need to depart for others to craft your identity

'Cause what would you demand?
Because what would you ask for?

When everybody out to define you without a circumstance
When everyone tries to define you without understanding your situation

Anybody got Harry Styles' phone number?
Does anyone have Harry Styles' contact information?

Okay, I called him and they said I got the wrong number
I dialed his number, but it was incorrect

I was trying to be Pac when I was younger, dreaming of better days
I aspired to be like Tupac when I was younger and dreamed of a brighter future

I don't see my mom no more remind me of bad weather days
I no longer see my mother, which brings back unpleasant memories

If you got a problem with me, try some other guy
If you have an issue with me, find someone else to confront

I let you know I'm a dog, I ate the cat alive
I inform you that I am ruthless and devoured my competition

But really though, I'm alone 'cause I don't stick around
But truthfully, I'm lonely because I don't stay in one place for long

And yes, I know it's my fault, so put your finger down
And yes, I acknowledge that it's my responsibility, so stop blaming me

I would keep this shit pent up if it weren't for my mom
I would keep these emotions inside if it weren't for my mother

If it weren't for Dijon yeah I don't like to lie
If it weren't for Dijon, I wouldn't reveal the truth

Guess it sounds out the month
I suppose it's noticeable

Should've opened up my mouth more, show 'em what my fist for
I should have expressed myself more and displayed my physical power

Let 'em get a fistful, caught up in the lust, man
Let them have a taste of aggression, consumed by desire

Bred from the legs of straight killers on best end
Raised by dangerous individuals on the unforgiving streets

Black eyes, bloody sheets, damn, where yo' feet stand?
Bruised eyes, stained sheets, where do you stand amidst this violent chaos?

We should get a new plan, maybe some more fans
We should revise our strategy, perhaps gain more supporters

I love it when the people go wild for me
I enjoy when others become excited for me

Keep it wild for me, wild, wild for me
Maintain this level of excitement for me

Baby, I been trippin' off 'em, tie me up and send 'em off
Darling, I've been disturbed by my emotions, bind and rid me of them

And I been on mission for it, I just want my own apartment
I've been actively seeking it out, I simply desire a place of my own

I just want a space with my old best friend
I just want a place to share with my close companion from earlier times

Lock me in your cellular, won't elevate again
Imprison me in your device, I won't feel better again

I'm a shithead son
I'm a terrible son

And I'm bad at growing up
And I struggle to mature

My life ain't been the same, since my dog died, since my girl left
My life has drastically changed, ever since my pet passed and my partner departed

I quit drinking and drugging and still can't get ahead
I stopped engaging in substance abuse and still can't progress

Been at a loss for words
I've been speechless

It seems I'm destined to fall apart when I'm depressed
It appears that I'm fated to crumble when I'm sad

It's all a test, scream at God from my bedside
It's all a trial, yelling at God from my bed

I glue my hands together, life's got me hog-tied
I clasp my hands, life has left me restrained

There's no applause in the game of life, I just bought a car
There's no grand applause in life's game, even though I just bought a car

And a new house, here's the cost to prove it
And a new home, here's the price I paid to show it

I spin a little wheel when I'm feelin' moody
I turn a small wheel when I'm feeling emotional

And that's like all the time, try not to mind the clock
And that's almost always, attempt to overlook the time

Because my heart is ticking, I smoke a pack a day
As my heart beats, I smoke a packet of cigarettes every day

And I wish I didn't, having some trouble quittin'
And I wish I didn't, experiencing difficulty in stopping

I have a couple vices, we had that show on Viceland
I have a few bad habits, we had that series on Viceland

I was hardly in it, most the time I'm hidden
I wasn't featured much, most of the time I'm concealed

Anxious, impatient and always wanting something different
Anxious, restless, and constantly desiring something else

I hate the way I'm feeling, I'm sick of chasing feelings
I despise how I'm feeling, I'm tired of pursuing emotions