Threes
Frank Hayes Lyrics

Deep in engineering down where mortals seldom go, A manager and customer come looking for a show.
The poem begins in the engineering department where a manager and customer visit to witness a presentation of their software development work.

Three things you should be wary of, A new kid in his prime, A man with all the answers, And a code that runs first time.
The author warns that three things can't always be trusted including a rookie programmer, an overconfident coder, and code that runs without being tested.

Summoned from our cubicles to conference room we go. We bring our dog and pony for we know they'll want a show. Watching as we enter with a shifty restless eye, The customer sits waiting in his pinstripe suit and tie.
The team is asked to join the manager and customer in the conference room, and as they arrive, the customer seems impatient and eagerly waiting for the presentation to begin.

Three things never trust in, That's the vendor's final bill, The promises your boss makes, And the customer's good will.
The author suggests that one should never trust the final bill from a vendor, promises made by their boss, and the customer's goodwill in software development.

The pony kicks his heels up as the doggie does his trick, And hands are waved with vigor as we lay it on real thick. The customer just watches as we do this song and dance, Then reaches for his briefcase, only giving us a glance.
During the presentation, the team shows off their software like a dog and pony show. The customer only gives them a brief glance before focusing on his briefcase.

Three things see no end, A loop with exit code done wrong, A semaphore untested, And the change that comes along.
The author warns that three things can go on and on in software development, including a continual loop with an incorrect exit code, untested semaphores, and constant changes.

From briefcase then there comes a list of things we must revise, And all but four within the room are taken by surprise, And all but four are thinking of their last job with remorse; The customer, the manager, the doggie, and the horse.
The customer presents a long list of revisions that need to be made to the software, and almost everyone in the room is surprised, except for the customer, manager, dog, and horse, who were not involved in software development.

Three things hold no secret; Files that somehow hit the net, Your boss's secretary, And the third thing I forget.
The author reveals the three things that can't be kept a secret in software development, including files that are leaked, your boss's secretary, and a third forgotten item.

First twenty-one new features that somehow we must add in. Then thirty-seven changes show up, much to our chagrin, And this thing's just inadequate, and that one's just plain wrong, And by the way, your schedule is about three months too long.
The team is asked to add twenty-one new features and made thirty-seven additional changes. The team is unhappy with the changes, and as it turns out, their schedule is three months longer than anticipated.

Three things it is better far that Only you should know, How much you're paid, the schedule pad, And what is just for show.
The author suggests keeping three things to yourself, including your salary, the project schedule, and what parts of the project are being done for show rather than being necessary.

The customer proceeds to go through each change line by line. Excruciating detail which no logic can divine. When it ends there's only four not sitting there agog; The customer, the manager, the pony and the dog.
The customer goes through every change in great detail, and only four individuals are not in shock when the presentation ends, including the customer, manager, pony, and dog.

Three things never anger, First the one who runs your deck, The one who does the back-up, And the one who signs the check.
The author warns to never anger those involved in running the deck, doing backups, and signing paychecks in software development.

Now we are contract software types who spend our days and nights, Embedded in the system down with all the bits and bytes, And none but us can tell full well the damage done today. It's what they do not know for which they're gonna have to pay.
The team is contracted software developers, and only they know what damage has been done during development. The customer will have to pay for what they don't know.

Three things are most perilous, Connectors that corrode, Unproven algorithms, And self modifying code.
The author warns that three things are very dangerous in software development, including connectors that corrode, untested algorithms, and code that modifies itself.

The manager and customer are quick to leave this bunch, They take the dog and pony and they all go out to lunch. Now how will we revenge ourselves on those who raise our ire? Write code that self destructs the day the warranties expire.
After the presentation, the customer and manager quickly leave and take the dog and pony with them. The team decides to get revenge by writing code that will self-destruct when the warranties expire.

Three things trust above all else; Your knowledge of your craft, That someone makes a profit, And that you will get the shaft.
The author suggests three things you can trust in software development, including your knowledge of the craft, the fact that someone is making a profit, and the likelihood that you'll be given a difficult job.