The Poodle Lecture
Frank Zappa Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

FZ:

In the beginning God made 'the light.' Shortly thereafter God made three big
Mistakes. The first mistake was called MAN, the second mistake was called
WO-MAN, and the third mistake was the invention of THE POODLE. Now the reason
The poodle was such a big mistake is because God originally wanted to build a
Schnauzer, but he fucked up. Now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
Attractive dog. The poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small
Piquant canine type BODY. That's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a
Regular looking dog. You know it's true, I guess you do too. (Oh, I have to
Kiss you? Oh okay.)

Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used to look good, you know the
Regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle,
Didn't think anything of it. You know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the
Olden days. But the WO-MAN, as you know, has always been much smarter than the
MAN.

Guy In The Audience:

You're the best!

FZ:

That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. Now you're interrupting my
Story, now listen . . . What is that? Is that the Tower of Power or what? Oh no
No, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. Now listen:

The WO-MAN has always been much smarter than the MAN, you know this is true.
And so it was since the beginning of time. The MAN would do anything to get
Some pussy. And that's why the WO-MAN always had control over him.

In the beginning the WO-MAN looked the MAN directly into the eye and said: "I
Tell you what, why don't you go get a job because I could use a few nice things
Around the house. Mainly what I need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of
Zircon encrusted tweezers." (Thank you very much.)

And of course the MAN did his duty as they say in the trade. He went out and he
Got a goddamn job. Went out and pushed that broom around for about a
Dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of Eden and gave that
Money to the WO-MAN.

The WO-MAN ran out the back door of the garden of Eden, went directly to the
Hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted
Tweezers and came back and, while the MAN was very tired from having his job,
While he was sleeping, the WO-MAN got a hold of the POODLE. Because the WO-MAN
Had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral
Appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very
Much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. It
Didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays.

And so the WO-MAN sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. Let me get a little
Uh, visual aid . . .

Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. You see, she took a
Little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies.
Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call
Burbank. Then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his
Mouth set up like that. And squatted right ON HIM. Looking down into the dog's




Eyes. She looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the
Dog? She said:

Overall Meaning

Frank Zappa's "The Poodle Lecture" is a satirical commentary on the relationship between men and women, and how women have always had control over men since the beginning of time. Zappa suggests that God made three big mistakes in his creation: man, woman, and, surprisingly, the poodle. According to Zappa, the reason why the poodle was a mistake was because God intended to create a schnauzer but messed up. Zappa also suggests that the poodle used to be a regular-looking dog, but the woman wanted to modify it to have a more modern look.


Zappa's lyrics are filled with irony and absurdity, which is characteristic of his style. While the lyrics may sound humorous and nonsensical at first, there is a deeper meaning behind them. Zappa is commenting on how the woman has always had control over the man, and how men would do anything to get what they want, including getting a job to buy the woman what she wants. Zappa's lyrics are also an indictment of societal norms and expectations, and how people conform to them without questioning their rationale.


Line by Line Meaning

In the beginning God made 'the light.'
In the very beginning of existence, God created light.


Shortly thereafter God made three big Mistakes.
Then, God committed three major errors soon after.


The first mistake was called MAN, the second mistake was called WO-MAN, and the third mistake was the invention of THE POODLE.
God's first mistake was creating man, the second mistake was creating woman, and the third was creating the poodle.


Now the reason the poodle was such a big mistake is because God originally wanted to build a Schnauzer, but he fucked up.
God wished to create a Schnauzer dog, but he mistakenly created a poodle instead.


Now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very Attractive dog.
In the past, the poodle was an attractive breed of dog.


The poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small Piquant canine type BODY.
Poodles had hair evenly spread all over their small, spunky bodies.


That's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a Regular looking dog.
The poodle used to be an ordinary-looking dog breed before being modified.


You know it's true, I guess you do too. (Oh, I have to Kiss you? Oh okay.)
It's true and listeners already know, but the statement is acknowledged humorously.


Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used to look good, you know the Regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle, Didn't think anything of it. You know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the Olden days.
Regular dogs did not treat poodles as an oddity and looked similar in the past.


But the WO-MAN, as you know, has always been much smarter than the MAN.
Females are more intelligent than males and have always been so.


Guy In The Audience: You're the best!
A member of the audience gives praise, although it is unrelated to the story.


That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. Now you're interrupting my Story, now listen . . . What is that? Is that the Tower of Power or what? Oh no No, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. Now listen:
The audience member is holding something harmful, which is distracting. The story continues after it's been taken away.


The WO-MAN has always been much smarter than the MAN, you know this is true. And so it was since the beginning of time. The MAN would do anything to get Some pussy. And that's why the WO-MAN always had control over him.
A woman's intelligence has always surpassed that of a male counterpart. Males will do anything to seduce females, so females continue to have power over them.


In the beginning the WO-MAN looked the MAN directly into the eye and said: 'I Tell you what, why don't you go get a job because I could use a few nice things Around the house. Mainly what I need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of Zircon encrusted tweezers.' (Thank you very much.)
In the beginning, a female looked a male directly in his eye and requested him to get a job. Then, she asked him to buy certain items for her usage.


And of course, the MAN did his duty as they say in the trade. He went out and he Got a goddamn job. Went out and pushed that broom around for about a Dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of Eden and gave that Money to the WO-MAN.
The male went out and found employment to earn and provided the woman with the funds.


The WO-MAN ran out the back door of the garden of Eden, went directly to the Hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted Tweezers and came back and, while the MAN was very tired from having his job, While he was sleeping, the WO-MAN got a hold of the POODLE.
The female left the garden of Eden to purchase equipment for herself. Later, while the male slept from working, the female took the poodle as well.


Because the WO-MAN Had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral Appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very Much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. It Didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays.
The female realized that the poodle's length and oral appendage were desirable, but the excessive fur obscured its appearance.


And so the WO-MAN sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. Let me get a little Uh, visual aid . . .
The female set out to alter the poodle's appearance, with visual aids available.


Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. You see, she took a Little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies. Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call Burbank.
She began the transformation by removing fur from the dog's neck, thorax, and toes. This area is labeled Burbank at the time of the speech.


Then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his Mouth set up like that. And squatted right ON HIM. Looking down into the dog's Eyes. She looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the Dog? She said:
Next, she positioned the dog in a certain way, pushing its mouth open. Then, she squatted over the dog, looking into its eyes, and spoke to the animal.




Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Frank Vincent Zappa

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

Michelle Sliwa

My Absolute FAVORITE musician of all time!!! When I heard Zakk Wylde, I said " Eddie who ?" But even They can't compare to the diversity of Frank's talent. I've come to think that some people were put on earth "not in the right time", like they were ahead of their time, 'ya know? The other perfect example of "not of their time", is Stevie Ray Vaughn. Frank, Stevie, and a few others, are some kind of "hosts", like the music flows thru them, from somewhere, and they just deliver it. 'Ya know ??

TacomaPaul

Saw Frank in '74 in Seattle... a week after I saw Rush open for KISS.
Strange month for a 15 yr. old.

Mark Schattefor

Must be a strange experience watching top musicians opening for a crappy gimmick show.

Robert Allen

FRANK ZAPPA IS THE BEST!!

rtyh srtuyh

Gonna play this at my wedding

Eliseu Huertas Cos

I was living near Hammersmith Odeon which got me seeing him there..."Irrepressible Frank Zappa" was later billed. 7 time during one week and again after he came back from the continent...

terrypussypower

"She said.....Give me your Dirty Love !"

tigress and the u-fraidees

That's RIGHT!

Frank Breuer

Thanks so much for sharing! Great video

Alex Hadri

francesco always been the special one 

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