Trapped In The Drive-Thru
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics

Seven O'Clock in the evening
It's late evening, around 7 o'clock

Watchin' somethin' stupid on TV
We're mindlessly watching something uninteresting on TV

I'm zoned out on the sofa
I'm completely distracted and not paying attention while sitting on the sofa

When my wife comes in the room and sees me
My wife enters the room and notices my inattentiveness

And she says 'is this 'Behind the Music' with Lynard Skynard?'
She asks if the TV show we're watching is 'Behind the Music' featuring Lynard Skynard

And I say I don't know
I respond with uncertainty, indicating that I'm not sure what show it is

Say, it's gettin' late, watcha wanna do for dinner?
Since it's getting late, she asks me what we should do for dinner

She says 'I kinda had a big lunch, so I'm not super hungry'
My wife mentions that she had a substantial lunch, so she isn't very hungry

I said, well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
I respond that I'm also not extremely hungry

But I could eat
However, I still have some appetite and could eat something

She said 'So whadya have in mind?'
Curious about my suggestion for dinner, she asks what I'm thinking

I said I don't know what about you?
I reply that I'm unsure and turn the question back to her

She said 'I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat'
She states that she doesn't have a preference and is willing to eat wherever I choose

I said that's what we're gonna do!
I express agreement and confirm that we'll go ahead with eating

But first, you gotta tell me what it is you're hungry for!
I request her to specify her food preference before we decide where to eat

And she says 'let me think, what's left in our refrigerator?'
She takes a moment to consider the available options in our refrigerator

I said well, there's tuna, I know
I suggest tuna as a possible option

She said 'That went bad a week ago!'
She informs me that the tuna is no longer fresh and had expired

I said is the chili okay?
I ask if the chili is still edible

She said 'you finished that yesterday!'
She reminds me that I had already eaten the chili the day before

I hopped up and I said
I get up energetically and respond

I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?
I suggest the idea of ordering food for delivery

She's like 'why would I want to eat liver?
Misunderstanding my question, she questions why she would want to eat liver

I'm like no, I said 'delivered'
I clarify that I said 'delivered' not 'liver'

She's like 'I heard you say liver!'
She insists that she heard me say 'liver'

I'm like I should know what I said
I assert that I am aware of what I actually said

She's like 'whatever, I just don't want any liver!'
She dismisses the discussion about liver and states that she simply doesn't want any

Well, I was gonna say something
I was about to say something

But my cell phone started to ring
However, my cellphone begins to ring

Now who could be callin' me?
I wonder who might be calling me

Well, I checked my caller ID
I check my caller ID to see the caller's identity

It was just cousin Larry
It turns out it was my cousin Larry

Callin' for the third time today
He has called me for the third time today

My wife said 'Let it go to voicemail'
My wife suggests allowing the call to go to voicemail

I said okay
I agree to let the call go to voicemail

Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
I try to remember our previous topic of conversation, which was dinner

So what d'ya want to do?
I ask my wife what she wants to do

She said 'why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?'
She suggests that I cook something in the kitchen

Yeah, I said why don't you?
I respond to her suggestion by asking why she doesn't cook

And then she said 'baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?'
She requests to go out for dinner instead of cooking at home

I say no
I decline her request

She says 'yes'
She insists and says 'yes'

I say no
I repeat my refusal

She says 'yes'
She persists and says 'yes' again

I say no
I maintain my position and say 'no'

She says 'yes'
She continues to insist and says 'yes' once more

Oh, here's your keys
Seeing that I won't change my mind, she concedes and hands me the car keys

I step a little bit closer
I take a small step towards her

Say okay, where ya want to go?
I agree to go out and ask her where she wants to go

She says 'how about The Ivy?'
She suggests going to The Ivy restaurant

I said yeah, well I don't know
I respond with uncertainty and indicate that I'm not sure about The Ivy

I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
I express my lack of desire to dress up

And eatin' expensive food
I mention that I'm not in the mood for eating expensive food

She says 'Olive Garden?'
She suggests going to Olive Garden instead

I say nah, I'm not in the mood
I decline her suggestion, stating that I'm not in the mood for it

And Burrito King would make me gassy
I suggest that going to Burrito King might cause gastrointestinal discomfort

There's no doubt
I'm confident in my statement

She says 'Just forget about it'
She gives up on suggesting any specific restaurant

I said no, I swear I'm gonna take you out!
I insist that I will still take her out for dinner

Then I get an idea
I suddenly have an idea

I says I know what we'll do!
I confidently state that I know what our plan is

She says 'What?'
Curious about my idea, she asks what it is

I say, guess?
I playfully ask her to guess my idea

She says 'What?'
She repeats her question, asking what my idea is

I say we're goin' to the drive-thru!
I reveal that my idea is to go to a drive-thru restaurant

So we head out the front door
We leave the house through the front door

Open the garage door
We open the garage door to get to the car

Then I open the car doors
I open the car doors for us to enter

And we get in those car doors
Both of us get into the car

Put my key in the ignition
I insert the car key into the ignition

And then I turn it sideways
I turn the key sideways to start the car

Then we fasten our seat belts
Both of us buckle up our seat belts

As we pull out the driveway
We begin to drive away from our house

Then we drive to the drive-thru
We drive towards the drive-thru restaurant

Heading off to the drive-thru
We're en route to the drive-thru

We're approaching the drive-thru
We're getting closer to the drive-thru

Getting close to the drive-thru!
We're almost at the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
We're almost reaching the drive-thru

Now we're here at the drive-thru
We have arrived at the drive-thru

Here in line at the drive-thru
We're in the queue at the drive-thru

Did I mention the drive-thru?
I playfully emphasize the fact that we're at the drive-thru

Well here we are
We have arrived at the drive-thru window

In the drive-thru line, me and her
Both of us are waiting in the drive-thru line

Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
There are cars both in front and behind us in the drive-thru line

All just waiting to order
All the cars are patiently waiting to place their orders

There's some idiot in a Volvo with his brights on behind me
There's a careless driver in a Volvo car behind me who has their high beams on, blinding my rearview mirror

I lean out the window and scream
I stick my head out of the window and yell

Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?
I question the driver's intention, accusing them of attempting to blind me with their bright lights

My wife says 'maybe we should park
My wife suggests that we park the car and go inside to eat

We could just go eat inside'
She proposes the idea of eating inside the restaurant instead of waiting in the drive-thru line

I said I'm wearin' bunny slippers
I explain that I'm currently wearing bunny slippers

So I ain't leavin' this ride
Because of my attire, I refuse to leave the car

Now a woman on a speaker box
A female employee speaks to us through the drive-thru intercom system

Is sayin' 'Can I take your order, please?'
She politely asks us for our food order

I said yes indeed, you certainly can
I respond enthusiastically, saying that she can indeed take our order

We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese
We request two hamburgers with onions and cheese

Then my wife says 'Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
My wife interrupts and declares that she has changed her food choice

I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich instead, this time'
She decides to order a chicken sandwich instead of a hamburger

I said you always get a cheeseburger!
I express my surprise since she usually orders a cheeseburger

She says 'That's not what I'm hungry for'
She explains that she has different cravings today

I put my head in my hands and screamed
Feeling frustrated, I cover my face with my hands and let out a scream

I don't know who you are anymore!
In a playful manner, I exclaim that I don't recognize her food preferences anymore

The voice on the speaker says 'I don't have all day!'
The employee on the singer expresses impatience and urges us to place the order quickly

I said then, take our order, and we'll be on our way!
I respond by asking her to take our order, promising that we'll leave promptly afterward

I wanna get a chicken sandwich
I express my desire to order a chicken sandwich

And I want a cheeseburger, too
I also want to include a cheeseburger in the order

She's like 'you want onions on that?'
The employee inquires if I want onions on my cheeseburger

I'm like, yeah, I already said that I do
I confirm that I had indeed requested onions on the cheeseburger

Plus we need curly fries
I add that we also want curly fries

And don't you dare forget it!
I emphasize the importance of not forgetting to include the curly fries in our order

And two medium root beers
I specify that we want two medium-sized root beers

No, just one, we'll split it
My wife suggests sharing the root beer instead of ordering two

Then I said I'm guessin' that
I make an assumption

You're probably not too bright
I jokingly comment on the intelligence of the employee

So read me back my order
I ask her to repeat our order to confirm it

Let's make sure you got it right
I want to ensure she has the correct order

She says 'one, you want a chicken sandwich
The employee starts reciting our order

Two, you want a cheeseburger
She continues by mentioning the cheeseburger

Three, curly fries, and a large root beer'
She lists the curly fries and mistakenly mentions a large root beer

Stop, don't go no further!
I interrupt her after she mistakenly mentions a large root beer

I never ordered a large root beer
I clarify that I didn't ask for a large root beer

I said medium, not large!
I emphasize that I initially requested a medium-sized root beer

Then she says 'we're havin' a special, I supersized you at no charge'
The employee explains that they upgraded the root beer to a larger size without any additional cost

'Oh' and that's all I could say, was 'Oh'
I respond in surprise, only able to say 'Oh'

And she says 'now there is somethin' else that I really think you should know
The employee politely informs us that she has additional information to share

You can have unlimited refills for just a quarter more'
She reveals that for only a small fee, we can get unlimited refills on our drinks

I say great, except we're in the drive-thru
I sarcastically acknowledge that the offer of unlimited refills is not practical at the drive-thru

So what would I want that for?
I rhetorically question the point of unlimited refills at a drive-thru

Then she says 'Wait a minute
The employee interrupts me

Your voice sounds so familiar hey, is this Paul?
She recognizes my voice and thinks I'm someone named Paul

And my wife is all like 'no, that ain't Paul
My wife clarifies that I am not the person named Paul

Now tell me, who's this Paul?'
She asks about the identity of the person named Paul

She says 'Oh, he's just some guy
The employee explains that Paul is just an acquaintance of hers

Who goes to school with me
She mentions that Paul is a schoolmate

I sat behind him last year
She shares her seating arrangement with Paul from the previous year

And I copied off him in Geometry
She confesses that she used to cheat off Paul during Geometry class

I said I know a guy named Paul
I assert that I also know someone named Paul

He used to be my plumber
I reveal that the Paul I know used to work as my plumber

He was prematurely bald
I mention that the Paul I know had hair loss at a young age

And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer
I inform her that the Paul I know relocated to Pittsburgh the previous summer

He also had bladder problems
I reveal that the Paul I know had issues with his bladder

And a really bad infection on his toe
I mention that Paul suffered from a severe toe infection

And she said 'Mister, please, you can stop right there
The employee interrupts me, politely asking me to stop sharing personal information

That's way more than I needed to know!'
She expresses that the details I provided were unnecessary and excessive

And then we both were quiet
After the interruption, both the employee and I become silent

And things got real intense
The atmosphere becomes tense and serious

Then she says 'next window please
The employee requests us to proceed to the next window

That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents'
She informs us about the total amount of our order

So we inched ahead in line
We slowly move forward in the drive-thru line

Movin' painfully slow
The progress is incredibly slow and frustrating

I got a little bored
Feeling bored, I start to lose interest

So I turned on the radio
To entertain myself, I switch on the car radio

Click, turned it off
However, I immediately turn it off

Because my wife was getting a headache
I turn off the radio to prevent my wife from developing a headache

So we both just sat there quietly
Both of us sit silently in the car

For her sake
I remain quiet to avoid causing discomfort to my wife

Then I looked at her
I turn my gaze towards my wife

And she looked back at me
My wife reciprocates my gaze

And I said umm, I think you have somethin' in your teeth
I hesitantly inform her that there is food stuck in her teeth

She turned away from me
She avoids eye contact with me by looking away

And then turned back and said 'did I get it?'
She turns back towards me and asks if she has removed the food from her teeth

I said yeah well, I mean, most of it
I reassure her that she removed most of the food from her teeth

But hey, ya know, don't sweat it
I tell her not to worry or stress about it

Then she said 'how about now?'
She asks if she has completely removed the food from her teeth

I said yeah, almost
I respond by saying that there is still a small remaining piece of food

There's still a little bit there
I inform her that there is still a small part of the food stuck in her teeth

But don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast
I casually suggest that the remaining food could be just a piece of toast

Now we're at the pay window
We have reached the window where we pay for the order

Or whatever you call it
I have a moment of uncertainty in describing the window

Put my hand in my pocket
I place my hand into my pocket

I can't believe there's no wallet!
I realize that I don't have my wallet with me

And the lady at the window's like
The employee at the window begins to speak

'Well, well, well, that'll be five eighty two'
She mentions the total amount due for our order

I turn around to my wife and say
I face my wife and speak to her

How much have you got on you?
I ask my wife how much money she has with her

She just rolls her eyes and says
My wife responds with annoyance, rolling her eyes

'I'll pay for this, I guess'
Reluctantly, she agrees to pay for the order

So she reaches into her purse
My wife searches her purse for money

And pulls out the American Express
She takes out an American Express credit card

I hand it to the lady
I pass the credit card to the employee at the window

And she says 'oh, dear
The employee expresses surprise or concern

It's gotta be cash only
She informs us that they only accept cash for payment

We don't take credit cards here'
She clarifies that credit cards are not accepted at this establishment

I took back the card and said
I retrieve the credit card from the employee and respond

Gee, really? Well that sucks
I sarcastically express my disappointment with the situation

And that's when I found out
At that moment, I realize

My wife was only carryin' three bucks
I discover that my wife only has three dollars with her

I said I thought you were
I express my expectation regarding my wife having more money

Going to hit the ATM today
I mention that I thought she was going to visit the ATM earlier

She says 'I never got around to it
My wife explains that she didn't have the chance to go to the ATM

So where's your wallet anyway?
She asks about the location of my wallet

And I said never mind
I dismiss the discussion and change the topic

Just help me to find some change
I ask my wife to assist me in finding loose change

Now the lady at the window
The employee at the window

Is lookin' at me kinda strange
She gives me a strange or curious look

She screams 'you know
She exclaims emphatically

I wasn't even really hungry in the first place'
She confesses that she wasn't actually hungry to begin with

And so I turned around
I face the employee at the window again

To the cashier again
I address the cashier

I shrugged and said okay
I respond with resignation and agreement

Forget the chicken sandwich then
I suggest canceling the chicken sandwich order

So I pick up my change
I collect the change that we managed to gather

Pick up my receipt
I also pick up the receipt

And I drive to the pickup window
I proceed to the window where we collect our food

Man, I just can't wait to eat
I express my anticipation and excitement to enjoy the meal

And now we see this acne-ridden
At this point, we notice an employee at the pickup window with acne on their face

Kid about sixteen
The employee appears to be a teenager of around sixteen years old

Wearin' a dorky name tag that says 'Hello, my name is Eugene'
The employee has a name tag with the name 'Eugene', which seems dorky or geeky

And he hands me a paper bag
Eugene hands me a paper bag containing our food

I look him in the eyes
I maintain eye contact with Eugene

And I say to him, hey, Eugene,
I address him directly by his name, Eugene

Could I get some ketchup for my fries?
I politely request ketchup for the fries

Well he looks at me
Eugene stares back at me

And I look at him
I maintain eye contact with him

And he looks at me
Eugene continues to maintain eye contact

And I look at him
I also keep looking at him

And he looks at me
Eugene maintains eye contact with me

And he says 'I'm sorry,
Finally, Eugene apologizes

What did you want again?'
He admits that he forgot what I had requested

I say ketchup!
I remind him that I want ketchup

And he says 'oh yeah, that's right
Eugene remembers my request

I just spaced out there for a second
He admits to getting momentarily distracted

I'm really kind of burnt tonight'
Eugene apologizes, mentioning that he's tired or not fully focused

And then he hands me the ketchup
Eugene gives me the ketchup packet

And now we're finally drivin' away
We begin to drive away from the drive-thru window

And the food is drivin' me mad
I become increasingly impatient and excited to eat the food

With its intoxicating bouquet
I exaggerate the appealing smell of the food

I'm starvin' to death
I hyperbolically state that I am extremely hungry

By the time we pull up at the traffic light
As we stop at a red traffic light

I say, baby, gimme that burger
I request my wife to hand me the burger

I just gotta have a bite!
I express my strong desire to take a bite of the burger

So she reaches in the bag
My wife searches in the bag for the burger

And pulls out the burger
She takes out the burger and holds it in her hand

And she hands me the burger
She passes me the burger

And I pick up the burger
I take the burger into my hand

And then I unwrap the paper
I remove the paper wrapping from the burger

I bite into those buns
I take a bite of the burger, specifically the buns

And I just can't believe it
I express my astonishment or disappointment about something

They forgot the onions!
I realize that the burger doesn't have the onions I requested