Cledus Went Down To Flordia
Cledus T. Judd Lyrics

Cledus went down to Florida, he was lookin for a car to steal.
Cledus went to Florida to steal a car.

He was in a bind, ten payments behind so the bank repoed his wheels.
Cledus's car got repossessed because he was behind on payments.

When he came across this old man down at Jalopy's Used Car lot.
Cledus found an old man at a used car lot.

Then Cledus jumped up on the top of one and said: "Fella, let me tell you what."
Cledus climbed on top of a car and spoke to the old man.

"I'm not gonna be proud of the deed I'm 'bout to do. "With no time to spare, I gotta be somewhere, "So I'm gonna steal a car from you. "Now I've seen your selection here and I admit the pickin's are few. "I know the Pinto's gold but consider it stoled, "''cause I got a show to do. "
Cledus told the old man he was going to steal a car because he needed to get to a show and the old man's car was the only one he could find, despite the gold Pinto being desirable.

The man said: 'My name's Jalopy," as he gave an evil grin.
The old man introduced himself as Jalopy and gave an evil grin.

''cause he knew that car wouldn't get too far 'fore the motor blew up again.
The old man knew the car Cledus wanted to steal was going to break down, because it already had.

Cledus, you better hit the road if you're gonna be a star.
Cledus needed to leave for his show if he wanted to make it big.

The show's way up in Georgia and you're opening up for Garth.
Cledus had a show in Georgia opening up for Garth Brooks.

Your future's riding on this shiny Pinto painted gold.
Cledus's future relied on the gold Pinto he was driving to get him to his show.

And if you're late, it's Jeff Foxworthy's show.
If Cledus was late to his show, Jeff Foxworthy's show would start instead.

Oh, gosh a Pinto, my foot. It drives more like a horse and buggy. Durn.
Cledus was unhappy with the gold Pinto he was driving because it didn't drive well.

Cledus said: "No way in heck you're gonna open up that show."
Cledus didn't want Jeff Foxworthy to open up the show instead of him.

Then fire flew from the manifold as his right front tyre blowed.
The car broke down and caught on fire, blowing out the front tire.

And he pushed that wreck across the street and man was Cledus tissed.
Cledus was frustrated and upset that his car broke down and he had to push it across the street.

And he tried and tried to start her up but it sounded something like this.
Cledus attempted to start the car again, but it made terrible noises.

Come on. Come on.
Cledus was trying to get the car to start.

Oh Gawd, I'm in a mess what am I gonna do.
Cledus was in a tough spot and didn't know what to do next.

My one big shot for Garth Brooks .
This show was Cledus's one chance to make it big with Garth Brooks.

Oh durn it.
Cledus was upset with his situation.

When Cledus opened up the hood he said: 'I'll be a son of a gun'.
Upon looking under the hood, Cledus was surprised by what he found.

And didn't long to figure out why the heck it wouldn't run.
It didn't take him long to realize why the car wouldn't start.

Fire from the engine, lots of smoke.
The car had caught on fire and was smoking.

He can already hear them redneck jokes.
Cledus was afraid of being made fun of for driving a Pinto and breaking down.

Dead blamed oil pan laying in the road.
The oil pan had fallen off the car and was in the road.

Will he make the show, heck no, heck no.
There was no way Cledus was going to make it to the show on time.

Whoa oh.
Cledus was disappointed and frustrated by his situation.

Taxi! Greyhound! Yellow cab! Somebody!
Cledus was desperate to find a way to make it to the show.

I'll show him a redneck. He'll have a redneck when I get my hands around his throat. I'm sick of it.
Cledus was upset and angry that he missed his chance to make it big because of the old man's faulty car.

Cledus shook his head as he watched Foxworthy's show.
Cledus was watching Jeff Foxworthy's show, disappointed that he wasn't the one opening up for Garth Brooks.

And he heard him joke of how he passed a burning gold Pinto.
Jeff Foxworthy made a joke about passing Cledus's burning Pinto on the side of the road.

Then later on, Garth told Cledus: "you'll never get the chance again," As he gave the check to that durned redneck who drove a Mercedes Benz.
Garth Brooks told Cledus he wouldn't have another chance to make it big, and gave the opportunity to someone else.

He said: "Tough break, big guy. "Before I go would you like to hear another redneck joke' "Did you know I got my own TV show'" Well, does anybody watch it' (No, heck, no.)
Garth Brooks sympathized with Cledus's situation and offered to tell a joke, but it was revealed that no one really watches Garth Brooks's TV show.

Well, you might be a redneck if your mom and daddy cathes you out behind the barn. Whupping Jeff Foxworthy for talking about rednecks all the time. Aw, shoot I'm just kidding, Jeff. I wished I could be your best friend. Do ya like me' I'd love to be on your TV show. Come here to me.
Cledus joked about being a redneck and wanting to be on Jeff Foxworthy's TV show, but it was all in good fun.