Quit Teasin Me Ed
Cledus T. Judd Lyrics

Hey Cledus, Whad'ya get in the mail?
Asking Cledus to reveal what he got in the mail

He-he-he, got a letter from Ed.
Cledus excitedly responds that he received a letter from Ed

What's it say?
Asking Cledus to reveal the contents of the letter

I don't know. D'you get one?
Cledus is unaware of the contents of the letter and asks the question back

Well, open it up!
Asking Cledus to open the letter and reveal its contents

I quit my job about a year ago, I'm on a permanent vacation All I gotta do now is sit back and wait'll my notification
The singer quit his job a year ago and is waiting for his notification after receiving his winning numbers from Ed

You see, old Ed, he's a friend of mine, and he writes me once a week Sends me my very own winnin' numbers I'm practically on easy street
The singer receives winning numbers from Ed, his friend, which sets him up for an easy financial future

Well, I don't know, I reckon Ed just likes me a little better'n everybody else I'm sure he's been tryin' to reach me, But uh, I've been out on tour with Garth Brooks. He-hehehehe
The artist believes that he is special to Ed and is too busy to notice that Ed has been trying to contact him

Now, you might think pricin' a Mercedes might be a jumpin' the gun But hey, I got a letter from Ed today that said I may've already won!
Although expensive, the artist considers buying a Mercedes because he believes he has already won money from Ed

Quit teasin me Ed ...Quit teasin me Ed My kids need to be fed ...My kids need to be fed I believed what you said ...I believed what you said Quit teasin' me Ed
The artist is frustrated with Ed for getting his hopes up by promising wealth and new cars, especially since he has a family to take care of

You promised me wealth ...You promised me wealth And a new Dodge Stealth ...And a new Dodge Stealth I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead ...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead Quit teasin' me Ed
The singer is eager to receive his promised winnings and will keep checking the mail until he does

They say the odds are again' me But I got my own little scheme Instead of just one or two, I order All the magazines!
The artist is trying to maximize his chances of winning by subscribing to as many magazine sweepstakes as possible

Now Ed, I can't sing or dance, and I'll never be on Star Search But if you don't hurry up 'n send my check, I'm gonna start thinkin' you a jerk Well, not really Ed, doggonnit it's been such a long time My car's been repo'd, my house note's four month's behind
The singer is getting desperate for his promised winnings, having experienced financial difficulties, and is starting to feel like Ed is messing with him

Ed, I don't mean to complain, and I know you're a busy man But, could you at least send me one of them early entry prizes I'm you're biggest fan, I swear!
The singer begs Ed to expedite his winnings, vowing to continue being his biggest fan

Cledus T., you may have already won!
A reference to the common sweepstakes ad that says, 'you may have already won!'