Will The Real Slim Shady Please Shut Up
Cledus T. Judd Lyrics

May I have your attention please?
Can I get your focus and concentration for a moment?

May I have your attention please?
Hey, did you hear me? I need you to pay attention.

Will that bitch Slim Shady please shut up?
Can you please stop talking, Eminem?

I repeat, will that bitch Slim Shady please shut up?
I'm serious. Please stop talking, Slim Shady.

We're gonna have a problem here
If you don't stop talking, there's going to be trouble.

Y'all act like ya never heard a white person before,
You seem surprised to hear a white person rapping.

Rhymes are poor, 14 minutes are up, so I got one more,
My rapping skills are lacking, and I only have a short amount of time to impress you with another song.

I had to come back, and now I'm worse than before,
I tried to make a comeback, but I'm even worse than I was before.

I make you snore, cause my tired song is boring you
My music is so uninteresting that it puts you to sleep.

It's the return of the... oh wait, hold on, don't try that,
I was going to say it's the return of Slim Shady, but nevermind.

Ya heard what he sounds like, ya really gonna buy that?
Have you heard Eminem's music? Do you really believe it's worth buying?

And Dr. Dre does... everything you idiot!
Dr. Dre is responsible for most of the production and success of my music, you fool!

How would I sound if Dre didn't lay the beats down?
My music would be terrible without Dr. Dre's contribution.

The world has had enough,
People are tired of Eminem and his music.

Eminem sounding like a 12 year-old girl on helium,
Eminem's voice is high-pitched and annoying.

Look at him! Walking around trying to kiss Dre's ass,
Eminem is always trying to impress and flatter Dr. Dre.

Trying to impress you. "He's so weak, though."
Eminem is a weak artist, even though he tries hard to impress people.

I put Christina on blast on my new CD,
I criticized Christina Aguilera in one of my songs on my latest album.

cause I tried to hit on her and she rejected me,
I hit on Christina Aguilera, but she turned me down.

Sometimes I wanna jump on the stage and just let loose,
I feel like performing and expressing myself on stage.

But I can't cause I sound like the squirrel on Bulwinkle the Moose
Unfortunately, I can't perform because I sound like a cartoon character.

This song gets your nerves, this song gets on your nerves,
My music is irritating and annoying.

I know I'm lucky cause I got more fame than I deserve,
I realize I don't deserve the amount of fame I have.

And that's the message that I try to give to little kids,
I want kids to understand that fame shouldn't be their ultimate goal in life.

You can be famous and never know what talent is
It's possible to be famous without actually having any talent.

Of course they're gonna like me, cause I'm like a cartoon
People like me because my image is like a cartoon character.

version of Ricky Schroeder when he was on 'Silver Spoons'
I resemble the character Ricky Schroeder played on the TV show 'Silver Spoons.'

I ain't nothin' but a product, packaged to be bought up,
I'm just a commodity created for the purpose of making money.

You know a year from now I won't be thought of,
In a year, people won't even remember me.

But I write about dead animals and cannibals,
I write about shocking and controversial topics to sell records.

cause that'll shock people and sell records... man, I hope
I hope that people will be shocked by what I write about and buy my records.

So if I can be ridiculous and talent less,
If I can be successful without having any real talent or skill,

I guess no one is hopeless, look how bad this song is!
Then anyone can be successful, even if their music is terrible – just like this song.

I'm Slim Shady, and yes, I'm real grating,
I'm Slim Shady, and yes, my voice is irritating and abrasive.

I talk like Peter Brady, and it's irritating,
I sound like a young boy, just like the character Peter Brady from 'The Brady Bunch.'

I know you're saying Slim Shady please shut up,
I'm aware that people find my voice annoying and want me to stop talking.

please shut up, please shut up
Please stop talking – I'm getting on your nerves!